Daily Grind

A conversation with a BiC yesterday reminded me of a discussion my wife and I had a few years ago when we were in one of our "poor communication phases". My BiC told me his wife desires to only work part time and he was worried that they were going to suffer because of her loss of her income. I ask him how much (monthly) she brought home and he told me about $3600 per month. That is a fair chunk of take home if you are depending on it which they are at this point (he is currently out of work and not drawing unemployment).

That got me to thinking about how much we are slaves to the way of life we have. We have become so accustomed to both spouses working and living a frantic lifestyle that we don't realize that in several cases, the dual income is not needed, but it is desired. In our case, my wife was making about 1/2 of what I was at that time and when we factored in the cost of after school care, gas, wear, and tear on her car, clothes and dry cleaning for her, meals away from home ( occasional lunches and dinner out 3-4 times a week), she was clearing less than $500 a month...the equivalent to a part time salary. THAT made us stop and think about where we were headed.

In our case, we had to make some choices. We had to accept the fact that cutting $500 off of our budget was going to be difficult, but not impossible. We may not be keeping up with the Joneses, but after seeing the stress that they can have, I am not so sure I want to.

Now I do not want you to think that I am encouraging women to give up their outside the home jobs if they really need them or really enjoy them but I do not want people to think that we have to have both spouses working. I do not make a huge salary (although I do well for someone of my educational level) and we manage to maintain a modest home in middle class neighborhood. We have some debt, but most of it is not frivolous. We have a van payment, some medical bills, and some home improvement debt, but all in all the total is about $15k. My wife does work, but only part time (2 days a week)...that is her choice. We have scaled back our expenses until we can at least get the outstanding debt paid off, which should be about 2 years or so. We do not subscribe to the "minimum" payments that the finance companies suggest. Instead, we are paying about 3 times that number (at the minimum) and we have stopped charging things on them except the mail order items that we purchase every couple of months. We have paid cash (or 90 days same as cash) for all of our major purchases during the past couple of years. This includes furniture, appliances, electronics, and computer equipment. Our goal is to have 50% of the total price of our next vehicle in cash to use as a down payment and only have payments for 2-3 years maximum. We are striving to only have a mortgage as debt.

Most people think we are doing rather well when compared to the debt they have. The one thing that really surprises them is that we tithe (give 1/10) of our income to the church. Even our Christian friends are surprised by this. Many of them are in debt and do not tithe because they "cannot afford it". I guess I am just showing them that they can, but they have to be willing to sacrifice a bit. It is never fun to have to give up things, but if you try to think of others (your spouse and family), it becomes easier.

Cutting back has been a bit difficult on my wife. As a female, she enjoys periodically going shopping and spending a fe bucks on some things for her and the home. Cutting back has meant that we buy what we need, pay bills and save. This leaves very little "fun money" for her to really go shopping. As a matter of fact, most of the money that has been used as "fun money" in the past is now being saved for vacations. We have made a pact to make sure vacations are cash instead of charge. We made the same pact for Christmas as well, but that is easier for us because we are not overly material people. While getting gifts is pleasant and I appreciate it, it is all fluff in the long run. I am not saying that if you spend larges sums of money at Christmas or on vacation that you are a bad person...I am only saying that we have chosen not to get caught in that trap. If you look at the bulk of what we are in debt for, it is for things important to us: health care, home repair, and modest transportation.

It is easy to become a slave to the grind, but if you pray about it and use some sound practices, you can stop being the slave. It will not be easy, but it can be done.