Chronicles, "On With The Show"

Knightmare Duck made an astute observation a few weeks ago. While he commended me on the "Chronicles" so far, he also reminded me that I was missing some people from my stories. I got to thinking about it and realized he was right. So far I have dedicated chapters to those who were part core to my teen years. I did not have any intention of writing a chapter each about everyone I ever ran associated with. However, KD had his thinking cap on and suggested that I write a chapter about the "cast of thousands" that made up the part of my life outside of the BSOB gang. While this is not a complete list, it is a good summery (e-mail me if you can think of people I hung out with that I missed that are memorable).

One last thought, After editing this some (thanx to KD for the memory jog) I still did not include everyone. While shows have stars and co-stars, there are minor characters and even "extras" that color the story. I am not going to try to mention all of them, that is insane. Again of you think of someone who should be listed, then drop me a line and I will see what I can do.

So without further delay let me introduce you to... the supporting cast:

Dave and Amy - Brother and sister who lived on the street above me at the corner (I grew up in the hills of WV, everything is either above you or below you). They lived in a small house on the corner until I was 13 or so. Dave and I used to go shoot pellet guns in the woods behind his house. After he moved to another part of town (to a custom home his father built), I did not see him much. Every now and then I would walk through the woods to his house once to go sledding. or bird hunting.

Denise and Tiffany - Denise was my age and Tiffany was her little sister. Denise was *the* cutest girl in the neighborhood (petite, blonde hair, blue eyes) and all the guys liked her (although none would admit it). The day she moved was one of the saddest days of my life. Her dad packed them up and moved them to Ohio, but they ended up moving back in about a year or so later. Denise played kickball and rode bikes with us. We ended up attending high school together but by that time she was not the same person. I still thought she was cute, though.

Keith (Known elsewhere as KG), Carrie, Rachel, Curtis - Keith, KD and I were pretty close friends for quite a while, until he dissed my mom on the phone, (He called her a b*tch). He looked down on me because my family was poor. Keith was a natural athlete but after a while, the preppy fad kicked in and KD lost track of him. There were two or three summers before we parted ways that hanging out at his house was the best thing to do (he had a real basement and that was unique to us at the time). When a baby sitter was needed, a female neighbor (who was 5 or so years older than us) was hired and she only added to the hilarity that was already rampant. She busted on Keith ("I am never going to get those brown stains out of your underwear") and at times would blurt out the strangest things without any provocation ("I don't have crabs, you know"). Carrie was KG's older sister and she had to be one of the most annoying and obnoxious girls I ever met. Keith's dad was a high school teacher and his mom was a pharmacist. His dad was very intelligent and funny and used to pick on Carrie something fierce (Carrie was a bit "big boned" and he never let her forget it). Rachel and Curtis were the little siblings.

Lori and Missy - Cousins to Denise and Tiffany. They did not associate much with the rest of the group much, although KD did get along with Lori rather well at times. Lori was attractive in a prim and proper sort of way, but not cute. I always took her for being stuck up since she hardly associated with most of us. I seem to recall her sister Missy squealed/screamed a lot when she wanted attention. They lived in a small house next to KD's.

Robert - Only lived in our neighborhood a short time. His mother used to stand on the back porch and yell for him when it was time to come home (bed, dinner, homework) and after a short time, I was able to imitate her voice. I used to call him and watch him come running. Robert was an only child and his mother and father spoiled him rotten. He had a ton of toys (and a baseball card collection second to none), yet he would still steal some of mine from my house when he came over, prompting my parents to bar from returning. Robert did not learn to ride a bike while he lived in our neighborhood...instead he pushed his bike around.

Kevin - Was a lot younger than any other kid I played with. He spent a lot if time at his grandparents on the weekends and spoiled him rotten. He always had a ton of toys to play with including a wooden skateboard with metal wheels. His grandfather worried me when I saw him wearing an old prison inmate's shirt while he was working on his car. These people lived next to Jim.

Julie - Knightmare's sister. One tough little girl. Once stabbed someone with a pocket knife (KD swears it was me, but I do not remember it) and bonked KD with a golf club.

Scottie - Not from our 'hood but I spent some time hanging with him when he came to visit his cousin, Knightmare Duck. My (then) bigotry of blacks got me into a fight with Scottie when I was about 12 or so, which I promptly lost. I deserved a lot more than just losing, but Scottie was a lot more gracious to me than I deserved at that time. I think that whooping helped clear my head of my racist thoughts.

Jerry - My younger brother. I did not get along with him at all. He was very disrespectful of my dad and mom as well as had some very disgusting hygiene issues. Jerry has had a tough life and refuses to straighten up. He and my dad never reconciled. He is three years younger than me.

Dawn - My sister. Only girl in the family, and the youngest. Being the only girl and the youngest child gave her a few more privileges than I got, but I don't hold any grudges. She is 10 years younger than I am and she was born on Jerry's birthday. Wow.

No neighborhood would be complete without a bully or two to keep things interesting. I was the recipient of a far amount of bullying, so this is not easy. I had planned to make a separate chapter on this, but maybe KD is right, it belongs here.

Dickie - Dickie lived one street below me at the end of what we called "The Rocky Road" with his single mother. He bummed money from everyone and while he never hurt me, I was pretty scared of him a bigger part of my youth. I avoided areas he lived in like the plague. He was in and out of youth homes and later jail so much they put in a revolving door for him.

Frankie, Jimmy, Jerry, and Melissa - Jerry was the mentally handicapped one who acted like Wonder Woman (or the Bionic Woman, depending on the day) and also had a speech impediment. I felt sorry for him. Jimmy was a kleptomaniac who would pick up anything and shove it in his pockets. He tried to be like Frankie (a bully), but he could not pull it off. He got his butt kicked more often than not. Melissa was the oldest and wanted a baby so bad, she would try to rape guys to get that way. She eventually convinced herself that she was pregnant and took on all the symptoms of a woman with child except she never gave birth. It was all in her head.

Frankie was the bully. He did everything in his power to hurt me or my brother. The first run in with him was when I was 11. He followed behind me one day after school and beat the tar out of me...I though he broke my nose. I had never been in a real fight before I was scared. I went home a bloody mess. Mom and dad were not thrilled. I was told by the principal that Frankie was jealous of me and wanted to hurt me because of that jealousy. Lessee, I was poor, had hand-me-down clothes, and had a misfit for a younger brother and he was jealous of me? Oooookkaaaaay.

After that Frankie took every pot shot he could at me but I was not able to mentally fight him. The first fight (with all that blood) scarred me and it was not until 5 or 6 years later that I was able to face him. Just as I got the courage to face him man to man, he turned and ran. KD swears there was another fight where I pummeled him so hard he fell through some hedges, but I do not remember that happening.

Frankie too, spent a lot of time in juvi hall and jail. KD informs me he is in for a very long stretch this time.

In my early teen years we had a group hang out with us that I called "The Seasonals". The "Seasonals" were people that only hung out in our neighborhood at certain times of the year, mainly when KD's cousin came to visit.

Camela - Cammie was an attractive girl (who was also KD's cousin) who came in once a year for a couple of weeks to visit her grandmother who lived across from Dave and Amy. She lived in a suburb of Pittsburgh, PA and had that "Pittsboyg" accent that I found so adorable at that time. She was very tan and had very dark blonde (almost brown) hair. She liked to flirt and while I knew she was not serious, I liked it. We kept in touch via snail mail for a couple of years but eventually the letters stopped. Cammie allowed most of us to live a little while she was visiting. KD asked me why she stuck out in my mind so much and I finally realized why. She encouraged me to push the envelope of what I was willing to do and how far I was willing to go. While what some of us did was not all the wholesome, it did get us out of our comfort zone.

Gary - Lived at the end of my street (about a 1/4 mile away) and had his own circle of friends. He only hung around when Cammie was in town. He tried really hard to hook up with her, but she just blew him off. He tried again the next year with the same result, so he stopped coming around. Gary lived with his sister Kim, who was cute but never associated with the poor folks at the other end of the block.

Jim - I have known Jim longer than anyone else in the Chronicles. I met Jim when I was 6 or so. He is a second generation American who's grandparents were born in Italy. Jim was an athlete who stayed out of trouble (most of the time) and was fun to be around when he was sober. I made the mistake once of making him mad when he was drunk and all I will say is that I am glad that guns have a safety switch. He dated Cammie one or two summers but decided he wanted to participate in sports instead of wasting time with us.

Mike - Gary's half brother. At first I liked Mike but the longer I knew him the bigger phony I realized he was. He came to live Gary's family when I was 14 or so but he never fit in. During the 6 months or so I hung out with him, he told the most outrageous lies I had ever heard. Gary could not stand him and refused to acknowledge him. I do not remember what happened to him, but I do seem to recall him getting beat up rather seriously and moving back in with his mom.

Many of the kids in the neighborhood had moved away and not long after that, Cammie stopped coming in, so the time had come to find a new group of people to hang out with. Shortly after meeting Holmes, I was introduced to a motley group we affectionately called, "The Chunki Junkies".

The CJ's were a group of guys and girls that met at a local pizza joint/game room (Chunki's) almost every night during the "BSOB Years". We all played video games, some smoked, some drank a little, and we even ordered a pizza once in a while (not often though, the pizza was expensive). Many of the CJ's were used in the various films we made and oddly enough, we never saw them again!

The group line up fluctuated, but the core group consisted of me, KD, Holmes, and:

Lou Ellen and Jan - Brother and sister. He was still in high school (although he did not look like), loud and obnoxious. I had a thing for Ellen, but I am not sure why...she was not my type at all. I guess it was the thrill of the chase. Not too many people admitted to liking Jan.

Julia and Marlyn - Sisters who lived across the street from John and Ellen. Mary was still in school and Julia had already graduated. Julia was our "connection" until I was of legal age and she also dated KD for a while. Julia had a crush on me while I was pursuing Lou Ellen.

Jake - Holmes' little brother. He was short, stocky, and strong as an ox. The two things that I remember most about him was his smile (permanent grin) and the one time he walked down to Chunki's from the apartment he lived in with his mom and brother in a just a t-shirt and his underwear. He was in such a hurry that he forgot to put on his shorts (it was summer time). Red faced, he ran back to the apartment to get the rest of his clothes. We laughed about that for weeks.

Henry - Dirty old man. He took us out once or twice but it was not very much fun. He gave Ellen the creeps and hit on Julia at least once. Henry would shout, "HONK! Get it!" while he played Ms Pacman. I think he needed friends his own age. I wonder what his wife thought about him hanging out with a bunch of teenagers?

Red - Former military (not sure which branch...but I want to say Air Force) who loved to play Mappy with Holmes. He rode a motorcycle and would give me a ride home once in a while when he was in a good mood. Somewhere along the way he started dating Julia and then became very upset with me. I eventually found out that someone was harassing her over the phone and she thought it was me. Red eventually married Julia and they have a child together. The most memorable event regarding Red was when he let me crash at his apartment after a night of very hard drinking and I threw up all over it making a mess everywhere.

After the "BSOB Years" I got married to my HSS so my friendship base changed. The old gang was out (for a time) and a new "wife approved" group was found:

John and Rob - I worked with John at McDonald's. He and his slightly younger brother were into hardcore heavy metal (ala SOD, MOD, etc...they created something they called Saltwell Hardcore) and we recorded a few songs (Rob played guitar, John played drums and I did vocals...what a joke!) at his home and eventually mine. We parted company after he was seen at my house (on multiple occasions) with my HSS while I was at work. Bad move, John. I have a short fuse.

Joe and Tammy - Tammy was the niece of one of the local magistrates and Joe was her certifiable husband. Tammy was actually quite a bit taller than Joe and reminded me of a very tall Joan Jett. While Joe was a bit of a loose cannon, he was mostly harmless to Tammy, me and my HSS.

Leisha - Worked in the mall where my HSS worked. Alisha was the one who first warned me that my HSS was cheating on me with another mall employee. She was tall and giggly (what is it with all the tall chicks?) and had a very wild streak in her. She eventually settled down and got married. I still get Christmas cards from her.

JR - Was a guy I knew in high school who became my roommate after my HSS moved to NC. He liked to party and held a couple in the short time he lived with me. We parted on bad terms when I decided to try to reconcile with my HSS.

If you want to see how well you make friends, move to another state. I think that is one of the best ways to find out how well you network. When I moved to NC, I struggled making friends. The majority of them were centered around work...I did not make many outside that area.

Landshark - My first boss in NC. There is an old saying amongst us geeks, "Friends help you move. REAL friends help you move bodies." No, we did not do anything illegal, but he went beyond the call of duty for me. He helped me move my junk from the apartment when I left my ex-wife, convinced "The Axe Murderer" to let me stay with him until I could find a place of my own, introduced me to the "2 Live Jews", and treated me right when I helped him move to Richmond. He is good people.

Rob the Slob and Dr. Dave (aka The 2 Live Jews) - Rob and Dave were Landshark's house mates for a couple of years before he moved out and I moved in. Rob was (still is) a workaholic while Dr. Dave was a med student at the time. They were the perfect house mates...I hardly saw them (j/k). We actually had a lot in common considering how different we were. Sundays were spent drinking coffee, getting bagels from Brugar's, going to the movies and watching PBS, Star Trek - TNG, and Silk Stalkings.

Fleck - Co-worker. Fleck was one of the first guys I met in NC. He was originally from Wisconsin but moved to NC a right before I did. He worked in the warehouse with me moved over to the customer service department after he cut himself with a metal shipping strap. Fleck reminded me of a smaller built Rick Flair.

Andy - Co-worker/student at UNC - Chapel Hill. About the only thing Andy did with us was drink and eat...and he did both very well. What else does a college boy do?

Ed - Co-worker/drinking buddy of Andy, Fleck and myself. He could consume copious amounts of alcohol without getting sick or hung over. He might pass out on you, but he never got sick. He used to joke that he was the "token black guy" of the group. Ed was black?

Ken - Co-worker. Ken was life long salesman. He had a run of bad luck that kept him from ever getting ahead. Like me, he was divorced and we used to share war stories. It was one of those "misery loves company" deals that took forever to escape from. He used to come over and do laundry on Sunday night or Monday morning on my days off and it drove The 2 Live Jews crazy. Ken was always looking for love in all the wrong places (most notably strip clubs and personal ads) and was single as long as I knew him. I lost track of him mostly because me made some derogatory comment towards my wife. While he did not mean for it to be, he refused to apologize so I never bothered returning his calls. I have thought about looking him up, but I am not sure I am ready for that.

Brian - Co-worker. Dubbed "The Axe Murderer" by the Landshark, Brian was very lucky. Unfortunately it was all bad. An impossibly thin white guy that had a habit of letting his mouth write checks his thin butt could not cash, he left the warehouse where we worked to begin a job as a salesman. He lost the sales job not long after that, causing him to have his Hyundai repo'd (I find that so sad....the car cost all of $5,ooo). He did two things that mad me laugh. The first was when he felt the need to tell one of our delivery drivers (who happened to be HUGE...the man was a monster) how to do his job on a day that was pretty stressful for both of them. It was comical to see little skinny Brian shouting at a tall muscular delivery driver. I thought the driver was going to kill him.

The second was when was a salesman. Near closing time he went into the men's bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet. They closed the store and locked it up with him in it. Brian wondered what to do and then IIRC he called Landshark to let him out. Oddly enough Brian never set off the motion detectors in the store as he wandered around from department to department. I told you he was skinny.

During the first few years in NC, I came back to WV to visit as often as I could (my son was living there) and renewed some old friendships as well as made some new ones:

Blockhead - I knew Block back in high school, but we were not very close. Once I moved to NC and started coming in for visits, we hung out quite a bit and played D&D together with some of his friends who were now my friends as well. Block moved to TN in January of 2007.

Bobby and Bren - Two of the sweetest people I have ever met. If you were in their home, you were family. What they had they shared. I remember the first time I came in at Christmas time, they packed me a huge goody box loaded with home made cookies and candy. Strong Christian people who at one time were some of my best D&D players. The own their own cleaning business and reside in WV.

As my NC friends got married and moved away, the sands began to shift again. My new bride had a nice group of friends and as her new hubby, I was immediately accepted by them. During this phase of my life I was really becoming a workaholic so I did not have much time for friends. If I was not working or at church, I was in class. My days were very full.

Carla and Bill - Carla was born in WV about 25 minutes north of where I lived and her husband was born in New Jersey. Carla was very bubbly and her husband was the serious one. They initially moved to Henderson, NC and just recently move to Minnesota. They have two kids (1 boy, 1 girl) and have settled into family life quite well. I went to CommColl with Carla and she was the one who actually introduced me to my wife.

Bob and Candy - Candy is one of my wife's oldest friends and Bob is her husband. Candy's uncle sold us a Celica GT that I learned to drive a stick on. Hint, do not let me drive your sports car. We lost touch after they moved a bit further north and had kids. Most of our get togethers were centered around food.

In 2001 me and my family moved to Texas and we had to start making friends all over again. My wife proved once again that she can go anywhere and find friends and that I can't. It probably took me two years before I had any real friends here. I realized the other day that every single person who I call a friend here in Texas I have met through our church. I guess when you spend all your time at work, at church, and with family, that is going to happen ;-) .

Most (if not all) my Texas peeps are in mentioned in my blog here and there, so if you are a regular you already know them . If not, then shame on you.