The Good Old Days

As I get older, I tend to think back and reminisce about times gone by. I did that today during my lunch break. As I write this I have been in Texas for a tad under six years...about half the time I spent in North Carolina. There are a lot of contrasts and comparisons that I could make but what had been on my mind was my quality of life on general. Was my time in NC really "good", especially compared to my time in Texas.

I met the love of my life in NC, but she was born in Texas. I became a Christian while living in NC, but only took my faith seriously after we were in TX for a couple of years. The best job I ever had was in NC, but after I moved to TX, I ended up supporting via another company. I make more money in TX, but the raises have been much smaller. The first house my wife and I ever owned was in NC. It was not fancy, but we liked it. However in TX we have a nicer (albeit smaller) and newer home and we have lived in it longer than any single place we ever did in NC.

Why do I keep thinking that the "good old days" were my years in NC? One part may be that I have never really acclimated to the north central Texas lifestyle. When I moved to NC, within two years I was positive I liked where I was. almost six years of living in Texas and I still want to leave. It is sort of the reverse situation that one of the telecom guys I worked with went through 7-8 years ago. He was originally from Texas and was transferred to NC.Less around two years later, he was back in Texas. He did not like NC and never "bonded" with the state. I am much the same with Texas. While there are things about it I like, I still cannot call it home.

Now before all you native and/or converted Texans start shooting me, hear me out. I am not disparaging Texas in the least. Texas has a lot of rich history, fantastic culture, a diverse population, awesome food, and so many different topographies (desert, foot hills, plains, coastal, and pine forests) that it appeals to a large number of folks...just not me. Not in the same way that NC does...or at least did. I guess NC is closer to what I was used to when I was growing up...sort of like if a state and person were to grow up at the same pace, NC is a mature version of WV, my state of birth.

I guess another reason why I look back at NC more favorably is that my employment made more sense. The work was more consistent, at least in the last five years. I started at the bottom (for the most part and worked my way up. Upon relocation to TX, I took a supervisor's job that only lasted eight months and went way downhill from there. Of course that happened right after the dot-bomb, and by that time I was so used to a certain standard of living that taking a lower paying job was economic suicide. I stayed at with the company until I was picked up (as part of an outsourcing deal) by the company I work at today...supporting the first company. That whole process has left me a bit of a sour taste in my mouth towards IT and outsourcing, especially as I see more and more work being shipped to other countries.

The "good old days" of IT, before the 2001-2002 bust...paychecks were healthy, bonuses were common, and jobs were plentiful. I guess when I look at the big picture, my despondency with Texas life is greatly influenced by the path my job has taken. Since that first big RIF (reduction in force) I was part of in early 2002, my job roles have been all over the map: Help Desk agent, NOC (network operations center) agent, project coordinator, encryption software specialist, junior unix admin, and escalation manager. Not to mention the new role I take on in a few weeks, incident manager. Back in the "good old days", I worked Monday through Friday with weekends and holidays off but I still had the option to work (and get paid for) overtime. I had one primary job role a large part of those years (help desk team lead/supervisor/manager) even though I took on all kinds of additional projects. I was busy, but I was happy. I only became despondent towards the end. I guess being forced to relocate was the primary reason.

Not too long ago as I was discussing this with a friend, the comment was made, "Well, if you are that unhappy, then why don't you just quit or move?"

I was a bit floored by that comment. I have not "quit" a job in a long time (11 years) and that was only because a better job was practically handed to me. Quitting is not something I am used to doing. Maybe it is ill placed, but I never thought much was to be gained by quitting.

In regards to moving...well before I could ever do that again, I would need the buy in from my wife. We all (me, wife, son) all agreed to move when I took this job. I will admit that my wife (and son) was not overly thrilled with the idea, they both agreed. Besides, the cost of selling a home and moving is not cheap. I was only able to do it six years ago because my former employer had a sweet relocation program.

As each day comes to an end, I ask God to show me what he wants me to learn and to give me insight to his plan that he has for me. He brought me to TX for a reason and I want to fulfill that. First and foremost I need to honor God in all I do. If it is not in his plan for me to change jobs or locations, then far be it from me to work against him. I would rather work with him and have short period of displeasure than work against him and take 2-3 times as long to get the same desired result.