I will start this off by saying this is a very personal entry. While no personal data will be given, the nature is personal (family).
My wife and I received an e-mail from our son yesterday. That is not unusual. He is living on his own (no phone and address is unknown) so e-mails every now and then are expected. Normally he will give us an update of what he will be doing, if he can come over, lunch invitations, etc. Yesterday's e-mail was quite different.
Over the past eh...year or so, our son has been living the life he wanted to live. When he turned 18 last October, he decided to move out. While we did not try to stop him, we did offer him the chance to stay. We were unsuccessful and he moved in with some friends. Once he moved out, we began to see a very different Pat*, even though we saw less of him. We were getting all kinds of weird reports and it would appear that his life was spiraling down, gaining momentum each day. This continued until a month or so ago when the man he was living with came to our house and spoke with my wife. He stated that he was kicking "Pat" out. He asked us if we would take him back. Now if this guy would have shown up when I was home, he would have gotten a similar but different answer than what my wife gave him. In my opinion, it was not up to "Pat's" roommate to ask, it was up to "Pat" to ask. I felt funny about this, but shut my mouth. We ran into "Pat's" roommate again a few days later and he looked like he just got back from a rock concert. His hair was spiked, he had earrings in, and his young girlfriend (he is old enough to have a few teenage sons and his girlfriend looked all of 18) was wearing a t-shirt rolled up showing her midriff. My wife then said that he DID NOT show up to our house dressed like this, but I digress.
Now it would appear that "Pat" was out on the streets, with no job and a car that was always needing repair. "Ok", I thought to myself, "when will come to us and ask us for something?" We got a call or an e-mail from him a day or two later saying he had a place and was working until his ship out date for AIT. Well that day came and went and he did not go to AIT due to a paperwork mix up (gotta love the military). "Pat" called and told us he did not know when he was going and did not know what to do. Again I waited for him to ask us for something and he did not. He sounded depressed and we became concerned.
We did not hear from him for a week or two (although we had sent him a couple of e-mails) and yesterday we heard from him. He had told us that he was shipping out to AIT next week and would be back in June. He also stated that he had been less than the Christian man he was supposed to be and despite our teachings, he was being overly influenced by his peers. Needless to say we were rather stunned. Since he did not offer a phone number, we e-mailed him back and told him we would like to see him again before he left.
A little further into the e-mail he stated that he felt that he needed to give back to his community and had decided that he was going to volunteer to go to Iraq. I am not overly thrilled about his decision, but I will not try to influence him either way. All I wish is that he makes this decision with a clear conscience.
His e-mail, while not long, was very emotion filled. My wife's initially e-mail back was equally touching. Mine was more manly, but I sent another to him that was a bit more mushy.
I hope we see him before he goes off to AIT. I care for him, like any father would care for his son. To see him realize what he has wasted so far and admit to his parents is very moving (or is that the burritos I had for supper last night?) :) .
*Not his real name.
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