Saying good bye is never easy. When I go visit family and friends out of stage, I never linger over the good byes. This behavior used to bother my mom (and dad when he was living) until recently. Now she understands. Good bye is forever.
Tomorrow my wife and I will most likely say good bye to someone we have had a relationship with for almost 15 years. That someone most likely saved my life and also helped my wife heal from a broken heart. That someone has walked with me in the rain when I have been blue and on sunny days when I have not had a worry in the world. He has been on long trips with me an my wife, visiting several southern states. That someone is one of the oldest friends I have. That someone is Maxx, our lovable mutt with more nicknames than he needs.
Maxx was diagnosed with renal failure yesterday. We knew something was wrong when he almost completely stopped eating (as I write this he has had four small meals in eight days (he normally eats two small meals each day) but dogs will sometimes skip a day or two when they are not feeing up to par, so I did not worry until day four.
Maxx has had severe allergies for the past three years or so. He started getting huge infections on his skin in the spring and fall during ragweed season that made him miserable. A couple of years ago we learned of his arthritis so his walking started to slack down. Shortly after that we learned he had thyroid issues and early last year we thought he had Cushing's Disease, but we found out that it was just his throid acting up.
Poor Maxx has been slowing down for a couple of years now and it has been hard for me. I like to hike and walk and Maxx has been my hiking buddy for years. A couuple of years ago he stopped going on hikes with me and was limited to just a short walks in the neighborhood.
When we found out that he had renal failure, the vet offered to give him steroids to prolong his life but my wife and I have played that game before with one of her cats and we will not do that again. Rather than pump him full of drugs to mask the pain and problems to give me a few more months to enjoy his company, I think it is better to let him go peacefully. While I am horribly saddened by this (Maxx is like a child to me), I cannot stand to see him lose the rest of his dignity. I was really hoping he would pass in his sleep some night but that looks like it will not happen soon and I just cannot stand to see him like this.
So for those who are serious pet owners, I think you can relate to this. For those of you who are not, the closest thing I can imagine is losing a child. If you are a praying person, please pray that my wife and I will not grieve heavily and that a peace will fall on us. We have one more dog in the house (who is nine) that we are clinging to and loving on because we don't want to miss a moment with her.
Maxx, I am going to miss you.
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