Does ANYONE Listen Anymore?

Part of my job requires me to provide technical support to people who have laptops with a specific piece of encryption software installed. The software is not hard to use, but it does take time unlock it properly. It is a long process to unlock an encrypted hard drive. You have to pay close attention and not make any mistakes, lest you have to start all over from the beginning. I have to do about 5 a day, on average. Monday's are heavier, though. I get 8-18 on Monday, many from people outside the US. Language is sometimes and issue, but I can usually work around that. No my problems are usually with those customers who speak English as a primary language.

I will call up the customer, identify myself, have them verify their ID to me so I can be sure I have the correct person/PC combo and begin the process. I always explain slowly what I have to do and what the customer has to do. They are usually in a big hurry and say, "Yes, yes, let's get on with this...", so we start.

During the interactive process, I will instruct the caller to do a variety of things (press the tab key 4 times or right click on something or enter a NEW passcode, etc) and all the customer has to do is follow my simple instructions to the letter. Inevitably I will have someone who will not listen to ANYTHING I tell them and the 5 minute process takes 20 minutes:

Me - "Ok, press the Control, the Alt, and the Delete key all at the same time to reboot the PC."
Customer - "Do I have to reboot?"
Me - "Yes. If you do not, the decryption will fail and we will have to start over."
Customer - "Is it really necessary to reboot? I do not have all day."
Me - "Yes, it is. The software is very sensitive to mistakes, so it is best we reboot."
Customer - "Ok, but I think this is a waste of time..."

Now had they just rebooted like I instructed them, they would have been ready to start by the time I was finished explaining the reasons.

Or how about this one:

Me - "Ok, now all you have to do is assign yourself a new Password. It can be letters, numbers or a combination of letters and numbers."
Customer - "Can I use numbers?"
Me - "Yes, you can."
Customer - "Can I use letters?"
Me - "Yes, you can use letters or numbers."
Customer - "How many?"
Me - "It has to be at least 6 letters or numbers"
Customer - "Can I use just numbers?"
Me - (weeps)

This is not an uncommon occurrence to those who work in tech support, and am guessing that it is not uncommon in the world of customer service, either.

Part of our security process is designed to keep unauthorized users from "borrowing" someone's laptop and using it without their knowledge. We get plenty of calls from people trying to use a PC without authorization. Many times I will look up the caller info and match it to the ticket info and it will not marry up, so I call the "owner" of the PC to get to the bottom of the issue and then I am told something like, "Mary is on vacation and told me I could use her laptop while she was gone. I think I locked out the PC."
Me - "Ok, did she create you a temporary account so you can use the PC?"
Customer - "No, she told me just to use her ID and PW."
Me - "Hmm, that is a violation of your companies security policy. I will have to call 'Mary" and get her approval to let you in the PC."
Customer - "But she is on vacation in Aruba, you will never get her."
Me - "Then you will not be allowed to use her PC, unless her boss OK's it...shall I call him?"
Customer - "Uhhh, no."

I guess I am just spoiled. When I call tech support / customer service, I always have a pen and paper handy to take notes. Habit, I am sure, but at least I do not ask too many dumb questions. Whoever said there is no such thing as a dumb question, only dumb answers never worked in tech support. I Gair-on-teee (end Justin Wilson Voice)