Abysmal

Abysmal - a·bys·mal /əˈbɪzməl/ [uh-biz-muhl] –adjective
1. of or like an abyss; immeasurably deep or great.
2. extremely or hopelessly bad or severe: abysmal ignorance; abysmal poverty.

(Courtesy of Dictionary.com)

That describes the lunch my wife and I had Sunday at Hong Kong Palace in Allen, TX.

My wife and I left church in search of lunch on Sunday. We left later than normal so we knew we would most likely get in some long lines. My wife was in the mood for cheaply priced Asian food of some sort so we stopped at Hong Kong Palace for a quick bite. I was on call so we had to pick something close.

HKP was written up in the local paper a couple of years ago as the best budget priced "Chinese-style" joint in town. We had been there countless times and enjoyed the meals immensely, so there was no reason to suspect anything different this time.

When we pulled up, we noticed a sign that said "Grand Opening". We thought this odd since it has been in business for over two years. Then I noticed in very small letters, "Under New Management". The alarm bells went off, but when we got inside, we noticed it was about half full. One half of the clientèle was Asian, the other half WASP (White Anglo-Saxon Protestant...my term for your average Joe and Jane White Folk) so I figured all was good to go.

We were greeted and seated at a clean table and were given cheesy paper takeout menus opened to the dinner menu (even though it was lunch time and they had lunch specials). The server, a mid 40's Asian woman (I think she was Korean, but I am not 100% sure) who spoke very little English asked us for our drink orders. My wife requests her typical "water with 3 slices of lemon/lime" and I request a diet soda.

"Coke?", the server asks.
"Whatever diet soda you have will be fine" I proclaim.

Our drinks are brought out. My wife's water is missing the lemon she requested and my diet is (and I am not kidding here, folks), "Big Value Diet Cola"...in a can with a cup of ice (in which we were charged $1.50 for later). I just look at my wife and smirk. She asks the server for the lemon and the server takes our order.

I order Hunan Chicken and Shrimp since I enjoy hot/spicy Asian food. My wife, not pleased so far is disappointed that they do not have Lo Mein on the menu for lunch (they only make it for dinner) so she orders Teryaki Chicken instead. The lunch menu starts is $6-8 per entree.

When asked what kind of soup we want, my wife orders her customary Won Ton soup, but yet again, they state that they only make that during dinner. My wife says that she does not like the other choices (Hot and Sour or Egg Drop) and the server says she can have the cook make it but she will have to charge extra for it (Well that is what she meant. What she said was rather unintelligable). We agree, hoping to make the most of the lunch that is rapidly goining down hill.

The spring rolls are brought out along with my soup. My wife's soup has not been brought out and there is no explanation on why (although we figured it was because the cook was making it). We munched on rather unremarkable spring rolls while I was able to eat my soup. My wife asked me how it was and I told her, "Well, it is hot and it is sour...waaaay too sour." Little did I know things were going to get worse.

My meal was brought out 15 minutes later but yet again, my wife's was not with it. I waited patiently while my wife looked at me, then told me to begin. I refused and continued waiting until her's came out.

When her meal finally arrived, it was a sliced chicken breast with a touch of Teriaki seasoning and sesame seeds on top of a bed of stir fried rice and a side of mostly cold mixed veggies. My wife took inventory of the food and picked at it, eating what she could.

When I got started, the first thing I noticed was the overpower taste of black pepper. Most "Chinese-style" food does not use a lot of black pepper, even in the hot and spicy dishes. I know this since I cooked in a Chinese-style place many years ago. The taste was not like any Hunan style food I had ever had in the past. Once I got over the taste (well, somewhat...it was pretty overpowering) I noticed my food was sitting in a pool of grease. Now, admittedly I am not the sharpest lightbulb in the cookie jar, but how is chicken and shrimp greasy? And to be honest, I am not even sure what I had was chicken.

The more I tried to eat (I was very hungry) the less I could stomach it. Without asking, our check was brought and we noticed they did not charge for the soup. They did charge me $1.50 for a generic diet soda so I figured we were even. When I laid my debit card on the bill to pay for it, the server came and picked it up. However, she did not bring it back, a young man did. In his broken English, he explained the soup should have been charged and was not so he took the liberty of adding it to my check. How thoughtful of him.

Before we left and before we paid), I went over the table behind us. The people seated there came in just in front of us and were finished way before we were. Like us, they refused a to go box. I decided to ask them if their meal was as bad. The woman asked me why I wanted to know and I told her our story. She said her hubby could not stand it and she doubted she would be back. It looks like they had a winner of a meal as well.

I plan on writing a letter to explain to them how horrible things were. Not for a refund, but to help them out. If this is what the new management is like, they really need some help.

I came home and ate some fruit and some yogurt for the rest of my lunch and had a couple of turkey wraps later on after my stomach stopped protesting the crud I attempted to consume a few hours earlier at HKP. Such a shame. HKP was once a great little Chinese place with good service and fairly priced, enjoyable food. Now I would not send an enemy there.