I do not seem to have the drive to blog as much as I once did, which in some cases may be a good thing. It keeps my out of state (but not out of mind) friends from growing bored with my posts. Nonetheless I do need to make a concerted effort to keep this as current as I can. So, with that in mind I bring you up to date.
My last real entries were shortly after returning from WV to visit family and friends. Some of it was venting (or "wenting" as Svenne would say) and some of it was just my normal jabbering on and on regardin my experiences. Not much more, if anything, to add there.
My wife contracted a local group to clean and stain our cedar fence. I could do it but I would not get it done as quickly as this team but truth be told, I have my concerns on what to expect. This company did the initial staining and I was not impressed with the results. When they came out this time to prep the fence (using a bleach mixture), they did not really clean it. There are still spots of bird poo on the posts and they failed to replace the caps they knocked off during the "cleaning" process. They even left a greasy stain in the driveway that I was able to remove. Nonetheless they are to arrive within the hour to stain our 4-5 year old cedar fence. Pray for me!
One item that has occured within the past few weeks is that my wife's boss sent me a rather substantial check for the computer work I have done for him off and on over the past three years. I have never charged him since my wife gets more hours given to her than she works, not to mention a more than fair bonus each year. I figured that we were even so I never pressed the issue. The receipt of a check for my services was more than I expected. I thanked him in person at church and he just smiled and thanked ME for being available to help him. I guess I saved him the house call that The Geek Squad would charge (if the links do not work, be assured at the time of this entry, TGS was charging $150-$300 for a housecall...the $150 was for first time PC set up which does not include installing/configuring antivirus or spyware. That is going to run you $100-$200 more). I am still amazed that people balk at my discounted rates (I charge A LOT less than TGS does and even less for my church family. I guess I need to just let them call the TGS and be done with it...but I digress.
I went geocaching on Father's Day since my son is not local and my pop has passed away. My wife was not overly happy, but she understood that I needed the time alone. I did a "creek crawl" a few miles south of our house that was fun, albeit a bit more strenuous than I expected. I did not finish it (I have five left to get, including a tree climb) but I did manage to get a serious tree climb and six others along the creek. I only saw one snake and kept my feet dry the first half of the hike until a misstep changed all that. But since I was already wet I continued on until I was too tired to continue. The trip back up the creek was easier and I only saw one water snake and it was small. I hope to finish this one next week sometime. It should be easier because I can park at the other end and hike a shorter distance to complete the series.
That beings me up to this week in which I am working from home all week due to the fact my office mate is on a much needed vacation. The bad thing is that I am also on call so it is all El Gee all day, for the next seven days. The good news is that the past couple of days have not been bad. I could offer more comments about my job but I won't...I am thankful to God that I am employed.
Well, the staining crew is here and they have asked me to have my neighbor move his SUV out of the way of the spray, but he did not answer the door (small wonder...it is 7:00 AM). I hope his vehicle will be okay.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
I Love Her, But Darn, She Is Cheap
I blogged recently about my trip to visit WV to visit family and friends. The trip itself is pleasant and memorable and usually enjoyable but there is one part of the trip that is hard to overlook: My mom and her frugality.
Now calling my mom frugal is a complement because in actuality she is not. She is not frugal or thrifty at all...she is cheap.
Frugal people make the most of what they have. I respect frugal. Using coupons to get higher quality items for the same price as the lower quality ones, watching for sales, reusing things that are safe to reuse, etc are all things I can understand but my mom takes frugality to a whole new level. She is cheap.
You have purchased cold cuts from the deli and had it presented to you in a a lightweight zipper sealed bag. My mom saves these to reuse. More than once. She also saves the wire ties that come on bread bags or come with some brands of garbage bags. When she moved out of the old house to the one she lives in how, she had BOXES of them. She even reuses paper plates if the are "not too dirty". Ewww.
Many years ago when my wife and I were dating we noticed while visiting my mom and dad that mom had some wooden utensils on the stove. There were several wooden spoons and spatulas and one pitiful looking wooden fork. Two of the three tines were broken off and it looked like it was flipping us off. My wife and I knew exactly what what one of their Christmas gifts were going to be. So that Christmas, my wife and I got mom a new set of nice wooden utensils. When we came to visit we noticed mom still had her nasty old set on the stove. I asked her what happened to the set we got her and she told me that they were too nice to use every day so she put them up. Mom has done this with many gifts we have purchased for her. Towels, cookware, dishes...she even does that with the gourmet coffee we get her. She only drinks it once a week. She used to mix it with her cheap stuff until I told her she was wasting it.
My mom shops at Goodwill, Big Lots, and Gabriel Brothers (if Big Lots carries irregulars, then Gabe's carries abnormals) and thinks Target is where rich people shop. She refuses to go to the doctor or dentist and only goes to the eye doctor because my sister works for one. She is a price only shopper and will buy the cheapest thing in the store when she needs to get something.
Now here is the ironic part. My mom is a QVC (home shopping channel) addict. She buys all kinds of stuff from them each and every week. She has a QVC credit card (why, I have no idea) and is always bragging about the latest gizmo she got from them. Candles, lights, cheap jewelry, knives, and cleaning supplies (which is ironic since her house is rather dirty most of the time). I find it amazing that someone as cheap as my mom will spend so much money on junk and none on health care. Go figure.
I have a motto: By the best you can afford and you will not be disappointed. That normally means that if something has a price range of $50 to $100, I usually spend $75 on it. Most of our electronics have been mid level unless we had no need for anything that nice. My mom usually buys on price alone. This year she really through me a loop and bought herself a HONDA lawn mower. Lawn equipment is the one area I always buy lower priced because I am very hard on it. It rarely lasts five years for me. Hearing that my mother spent over $300 for a lawn mower was a shock.
My mom has a small dog, a Shitzhu that is cute as a button. Mom has not owned a dog in a long, long time so my wife and I offered to give her some info to help her with the task of dog ownership. Not only has my mom ignored the advice we have given her, but she has decided that her non-pet owning friends are better suited to offer advice than we were. Needless to say the dog has been sick several times and it has take her vet to convince her that the things she is feeding the dog are not good for it. All this because she refuses to let her vet advise her on matters pertaining her dog.
At one point my mom was a pack rat in the worst way...a trait that she shared with my dad. After he died, I was able to get her to throw away a lot of what he had accumulated, but she was not so eager to get rid of the boxed of bags, ties, butter containers, plastic milk jugs, jars, and plastic ware. It took her basement being flooded last year for her to finally realize that she had too much junk. Thank to Elk Creek overflowing its banks and making a mess in her basement, she got rid of a ton of junk.
The horrible thing about my mom and her being cheap is that when she finally decided to spend money on something that she really needs (a new bathroom or her front deck for example), she gets over charged. Since she never shops around she takes the first offer that is made from the first available contractor. Thanks to this behavior, she has spent 3x as much on her deck and 2x as much on her bathroom as she should and to top that off, the quality was well below par.
All this leads me and my sister to try to convince my mom to move in with one of us. My mom has been very resistant so far to either idea. The thought of coming to Texas scares her enough she won't even visit. I have been out of WV for over 20 years and she has only visited once, 10 years ago. My sis is working on a plan but so far mom is not cooperating. I hope sis can convince her that moving is the best thing for her.
Sigh.
Now calling my mom frugal is a complement because in actuality she is not. She is not frugal or thrifty at all...she is cheap.
Frugal people make the most of what they have. I respect frugal. Using coupons to get higher quality items for the same price as the lower quality ones, watching for sales, reusing things that are safe to reuse, etc are all things I can understand but my mom takes frugality to a whole new level. She is cheap.
You have purchased cold cuts from the deli and had it presented to you in a a lightweight zipper sealed bag. My mom saves these to reuse. More than once. She also saves the wire ties that come on bread bags or come with some brands of garbage bags. When she moved out of the old house to the one she lives in how, she had BOXES of them. She even reuses paper plates if the are "not too dirty". Ewww.
Many years ago when my wife and I were dating we noticed while visiting my mom and dad that mom had some wooden utensils on the stove. There were several wooden spoons and spatulas and one pitiful looking wooden fork. Two of the three tines were broken off and it looked like it was flipping us off. My wife and I knew exactly what what one of their Christmas gifts were going to be. So that Christmas, my wife and I got mom a new set of nice wooden utensils. When we came to visit we noticed mom still had her nasty old set on the stove. I asked her what happened to the set we got her and she told me that they were too nice to use every day so she put them up. Mom has done this with many gifts we have purchased for her. Towels, cookware, dishes...she even does that with the gourmet coffee we get her. She only drinks it once a week. She used to mix it with her cheap stuff until I told her she was wasting it.
My mom shops at Goodwill, Big Lots, and Gabriel Brothers (if Big Lots carries irregulars, then Gabe's carries abnormals) and thinks Target is where rich people shop. She refuses to go to the doctor or dentist and only goes to the eye doctor because my sister works for one. She is a price only shopper and will buy the cheapest thing in the store when she needs to get something.
Now here is the ironic part. My mom is a QVC (home shopping channel) addict. She buys all kinds of stuff from them each and every week. She has a QVC credit card (why, I have no idea) and is always bragging about the latest gizmo she got from them. Candles, lights, cheap jewelry, knives, and cleaning supplies (which is ironic since her house is rather dirty most of the time). I find it amazing that someone as cheap as my mom will spend so much money on junk and none on health care. Go figure.
I have a motto: By the best you can afford and you will not be disappointed. That normally means that if something has a price range of $50 to $100, I usually spend $75 on it. Most of our electronics have been mid level unless we had no need for anything that nice. My mom usually buys on price alone. This year she really through me a loop and bought herself a HONDA lawn mower. Lawn equipment is the one area I always buy lower priced because I am very hard on it. It rarely lasts five years for me. Hearing that my mother spent over $300 for a lawn mower was a shock.
My mom has a small dog, a Shitzhu that is cute as a button. Mom has not owned a dog in a long, long time so my wife and I offered to give her some info to help her with the task of dog ownership. Not only has my mom ignored the advice we have given her, but she has decided that her non-pet owning friends are better suited to offer advice than we were. Needless to say the dog has been sick several times and it has take her vet to convince her that the things she is feeding the dog are not good for it. All this because she refuses to let her vet advise her on matters pertaining her dog.
At one point my mom was a pack rat in the worst way...a trait that she shared with my dad. After he died, I was able to get her to throw away a lot of what he had accumulated, but she was not so eager to get rid of the boxed of bags, ties, butter containers, plastic milk jugs, jars, and plastic ware. It took her basement being flooded last year for her to finally realize that she had too much junk. Thank to Elk Creek overflowing its banks and making a mess in her basement, she got rid of a ton of junk.
The horrible thing about my mom and her being cheap is that when she finally decided to spend money on something that she really needs (a new bathroom or her front deck for example), she gets over charged. Since she never shops around she takes the first offer that is made from the first available contractor. Thanks to this behavior, she has spent 3x as much on her deck and 2x as much on her bathroom as she should and to top that off, the quality was well below par.
All this leads me and my sister to try to convince my mom to move in with one of us. My mom has been very resistant so far to either idea. The thought of coming to Texas scares her enough she won't even visit. I have been out of WV for over 20 years and she has only visited once, 10 years ago. My sis is working on a plan but so far mom is not cooperating. I hope sis can convince her that moving is the best thing for her.
Sigh.
Always Bittersweet
I recently returned from my yearly pilgrimage to WV to visit family and friends. I always have stated that the trip has become bittersweet over the past few years. While I enjoy hitting the road and visiting family and friends, the feeling is short lived and I long to get back home to my wife and dog.
My trip has become rather routine and predictable over the past 5 years or so. Once a year, usually in late August/early September, I pack up the minivan with my cloths and more electronics than one person needs (camera, laptop, cell phone, PDA, cables, and power cords) along with some basic camping supplies and hit the road. My trip takes me from the city we live in through several miles of Texas FM (Farm to Market) roads until I get to I-30. From there I drive on I-30 through Texarkana until I get to Little Rock, Arkansas. In LR, I pick up I-40 and stay on it until I hit a little state park in TN. There, I find the flattest camp site I can find (I have gotten the same one the past 3 years) and park the van. Depending on my mood and the weather, I will pitch a tent or sleep in the van. The van has gotten the most use the past 4 years or so since the weather has been mostly wet but I have pitched the tent a couple of times. I will also build a fire if the mood strikes me but the past two trips I have not. Instead I have opted to go hiking/geocaching in the park until it gets dark. At some point I will grab a bite to eat, either in the park or at a fast food joint before I arrive.
After a good nights sleep (or fitful, depending on the weather and level of noise from other campers) I wake up, shower, eat, and get back on the road. I-40 runs all the way to the NC coast, but I jump off of I-40 in Nashville and pick up I-65. I take I-65 up past Bowling Green, KY until I get to Elizabethtown and then I pick up The Blue Ridge Parkway. The BRP is a wonderful and scenic highway that runs from E-town (as the locals call it) to Lexington, KY. If you plan the route properly you can see Martin's Castle, a real castle built by a man as a wedding present for his wife. I think it is now a pricey bed and breakfast, but at one time it was a private residence.
After that I pick up I-64 into WV, up to Charleston. At that point I make the last major turn off to I-79 to my home town just south of Fairmont. I really enjoy that drive. KY and TN can be beautiful. I am not forgetting that WV is one fantastic state, but KY comes in a close second.
Once I get into town, I stop and unload my gear at mom's house. We chat for several hours until we are both very tired then we retire to our respective rooms. Sleep comes quickly and sometimes the night is just not long enough.
The next morning (Sunday...I always start my trip on Friday) mom and I go to church at her very small country church. I think they have a normal attendance of about 15-20 people. It makes or church of 100 seem large.
After church we grab a bite to each, usually fast food (mom is not much for a nice sit down meal, much to my chagrin) and then we head back home. We chat and catch up on things and usually one or both of us will want a nap...most likely me.
The rest of the week is divided up visiting family and friends and helping mom with things she cannot do on her own. I have weeded her flower beds, cut down and trimmed bushes, removed tree stumps, put up ceiling fans, clean out her basement, removed storm debris, and countless other small tasks during my visits.
A couple of years ago my closest friends took me geocaching and ever since I have made that past time a focal point of my leisure time in WV. My first year we only went out once, the second year we went out at least three times, and this year we only made it out once due to weather (this has been the stormiest/wettest Spring I remember).
I have rather fond memories of my trips back home but as I stated earlier, it is a bittersweet trip. Along about the third day or so, mom kinda shuts down. She does not speak much (maybe she has run out of things to say) and she does not want to do much. She seems disappointed that I will not sit for hours and hours watching TV or reading. Being an active guy, I like to do things and WV is a great state to do things in. I have tried countless times to get my mom out of the house but she firmly, but politely refuses to leave. So what I have tried to do is to spend the morning with her each day if possible and the late afternoon/early evening with friends. While not the perfect solution, it is better than going stir crazy in her house each day.
I guess one of the reasons why this trip is bittersweet is that while I know she loves me, mom does not many things to make me feel welcomed. Example. Most people keep staples (normal food items) around the house: Milk, bread, fruit, cold cuts, cereal, and junk food. Mom really doesn't. She does not drink milk and what she keeps is her own mixture of powdered milk and cheap fresh milk. She keeps only a quart at a time in her fridge. She does not normally keep cereal around (she does not eat it) so I bring breakfast bars in with me so I can at least have something for breakfast. The bread she keeps is the cheapest white bread (usually day old) you can get. She does keep cold cuts but most of the time it is ham. I am not a big fan of ham ever since my food poisoning incident 20 years ago. She rarely if ever buys turkey or roast beef. If she has anything other than ham, it is usually a very cheap brand of bologna. I like bologna as long as it is of good quality. Mom buys on price only. The only fruit I eve see her have are apples and sometimes bananas. I like them both but she rarely keeps them around.
On top of this, she rarely cooks. Her idea of cooking is throwing something in the microwave. Now I fully understand that since she lives by herself, cooking a big meal is not always the best choice, but most of what she eats can be frozen and she has a freezer to put it in (albeit it is full of her favorite frozen food...cheap frozen dinners). Is it any wonder I eat out a fair amount of the time I am in?
Most of the time when a person visits, the host will make sure the guest has things they like. Mom rarely does that. Now, when dad was alive, my trips in were great. Food was plentiful and in great variety. Now that he has passed on, mom fends for herself.
The general theme with my mom is cheap. Not frugal, not thrifty, but cheap. She used to buy these large cans of grapefruit juice (off-brand of course) to keep for breakfast. While not the best stuff in the world, at least it was juice. When I visited her the last time, I asked if she had any juice and she told me, "I stopped buying juice. Do you know they went up on price 17 cents? That is just ridiculous!" Mom has stopped eating and drinking her favorite foods just because they increased in price a few cents.
Knowing mom is tight with her money, I try to help her out. I buy our meals when we go out, even though my wife and I are on a tight budget. I want to do this if she would just get out of the house.
I have to give her credit though. When I came in this last time, she had all the staples and she even went out to eat twice with me. Now both times were fast food, but it is a start. At least one of those meals was good (T&L Hot Dogs...yummy. The other was LJS...greasy).
This little battle goes on each time I visit and progressively gets worse until the day I pack up and head back home. My wish is that she has some of my favorite WV comfort food (Pepperoni Rolls, WV hot dogs, Giovanni steak sandwiches) handy when I come in but each and every year (with a few exceptions) she just goes on with her life as usual.
Back when dad was alive and my wife and I were living in NC, mom and dad came down to NC from WV to NC to visit us and see the house we bought. It was not much to look at...1850 sq ft brick home (the only brick home in the neighborhood) that was nearly a perfect cube...I called it the Borg home. I only had a small front stoop up front (no roof) and a large concrete patio in back (again, no roof). It was not well designed but it had charm. Anyway, mom and dad came down one Thanksgiving shortly after we bought the house. My wife and I did everything we could to make mom and dad comfortable. We made sure they had coffee to drink (we were not big coffee drinkers at that time) and any food they needed we had on hand. Dad was not a turkey person so my wife and I made sure he had his favorite meat, ham to eat. We bought a small Smithfield ham and fixed it for him and made sure he took the leftovers home. He was thrilled.
Mom doesn't do that. The only reason she had things this time was because my sister made her buy them. Mom almost refused stating that, "He brings his own food in to eat". My sister just laughed because the only things I ever bring are yogurt and cereal bars...stuff I can eat on the road during my two day drive. I just bring enough to last me the week while I am in since mom doesn't keep cereal around.
When my last full day visiting arrives, mom and I both feel it. She does not want to let go of her oldest son who lives 1200 miles away and I hate leaving her, despite all her quirks. However, we both know I need to go. When dad was alive, every year he would try to get me to stay "just one more day" but staying one more day meant driving all day and night to get back home and we all know that is dangerous.
The day I leave to go back to Texas, I am usually up before mom, packing the van and making sure I don't leave anything I need behind. Now that I travel with a small army of electronics, this step is critical. More than once I have left shoes, clothes, hats, or books that mom had to mail back to me.
The trip back is the same as the trip to WV, albeit with one small change. The past two years my friends Block has invited me to spend the night at his and his sister's house instead of the campground. They live in Memphis and this adds about two hours to my trip but the offer of a dry place to sleep is too good to pass up. Block is a good friend who has stuck by me since high school.
Upon arriving back to Texas, I am tired but happy to be home. I kiss my wife, pet the dog, unload the van and begin to tell stories of my trip. My wife says I went on vacation, but I know that what I have been through is not a vacation. It is work and the enjoyment during that 9 days (four days of driving - two up and two back) is minimal. I eat food that I do not like, sleep in a home that is not comfortable (dust, mold, etc), and drive for 10 hours a day for four days. Yes, the visiting with friends and the geocaching is great, but far from a vacation. Vacation comes when my wife, my dog and I go to Florida. That is a vacation.
My trip has become rather routine and predictable over the past 5 years or so. Once a year, usually in late August/early September, I pack up the minivan with my cloths and more electronics than one person needs (camera, laptop, cell phone, PDA, cables, and power cords) along with some basic camping supplies and hit the road. My trip takes me from the city we live in through several miles of Texas FM (Farm to Market) roads until I get to I-30. From there I drive on I-30 through Texarkana until I get to Little Rock, Arkansas. In LR, I pick up I-40 and stay on it until I hit a little state park in TN. There, I find the flattest camp site I can find (I have gotten the same one the past 3 years) and park the van. Depending on my mood and the weather, I will pitch a tent or sleep in the van. The van has gotten the most use the past 4 years or so since the weather has been mostly wet but I have pitched the tent a couple of times. I will also build a fire if the mood strikes me but the past two trips I have not. Instead I have opted to go hiking/geocaching in the park until it gets dark. At some point I will grab a bite to eat, either in the park or at a fast food joint before I arrive.
After a good nights sleep (or fitful, depending on the weather and level of noise from other campers) I wake up, shower, eat, and get back on the road. I-40 runs all the way to the NC coast, but I jump off of I-40 in Nashville and pick up I-65. I take I-65 up past Bowling Green, KY until I get to Elizabethtown and then I pick up The Blue Ridge Parkway. The BRP is a wonderful and scenic highway that runs from E-town (as the locals call it) to Lexington, KY. If you plan the route properly you can see Martin's Castle, a real castle built by a man as a wedding present for his wife. I think it is now a pricey bed and breakfast, but at one time it was a private residence.
After that I pick up I-64 into WV, up to Charleston. At that point I make the last major turn off to I-79 to my home town just south of Fairmont. I really enjoy that drive. KY and TN can be beautiful. I am not forgetting that WV is one fantastic state, but KY comes in a close second.
Once I get into town, I stop and unload my gear at mom's house. We chat for several hours until we are both very tired then we retire to our respective rooms. Sleep comes quickly and sometimes the night is just not long enough.
The next morning (Sunday...I always start my trip on Friday) mom and I go to church at her very small country church. I think they have a normal attendance of about 15-20 people. It makes or church of 100 seem large.
After church we grab a bite to each, usually fast food (mom is not much for a nice sit down meal, much to my chagrin) and then we head back home. We chat and catch up on things and usually one or both of us will want a nap...most likely me.
The rest of the week is divided up visiting family and friends and helping mom with things she cannot do on her own. I have weeded her flower beds, cut down and trimmed bushes, removed tree stumps, put up ceiling fans, clean out her basement, removed storm debris, and countless other small tasks during my visits.
A couple of years ago my closest friends took me geocaching and ever since I have made that past time a focal point of my leisure time in WV. My first year we only went out once, the second year we went out at least three times, and this year we only made it out once due to weather (this has been the stormiest/wettest Spring I remember).
I have rather fond memories of my trips back home but as I stated earlier, it is a bittersweet trip. Along about the third day or so, mom kinda shuts down. She does not speak much (maybe she has run out of things to say) and she does not want to do much. She seems disappointed that I will not sit for hours and hours watching TV or reading. Being an active guy, I like to do things and WV is a great state to do things in. I have tried countless times to get my mom out of the house but she firmly, but politely refuses to leave. So what I have tried to do is to spend the morning with her each day if possible and the late afternoon/early evening with friends. While not the perfect solution, it is better than going stir crazy in her house each day.
I guess one of the reasons why this trip is bittersweet is that while I know she loves me, mom does not many things to make me feel welcomed. Example. Most people keep staples (normal food items) around the house: Milk, bread, fruit, cold cuts, cereal, and junk food. Mom really doesn't. She does not drink milk and what she keeps is her own mixture of powdered milk and cheap fresh milk. She keeps only a quart at a time in her fridge. She does not normally keep cereal around (she does not eat it) so I bring breakfast bars in with me so I can at least have something for breakfast. The bread she keeps is the cheapest white bread (usually day old) you can get. She does keep cold cuts but most of the time it is ham. I am not a big fan of ham ever since my food poisoning incident 20 years ago. She rarely if ever buys turkey or roast beef. If she has anything other than ham, it is usually a very cheap brand of bologna. I like bologna as long as it is of good quality. Mom buys on price only. The only fruit I eve see her have are apples and sometimes bananas. I like them both but she rarely keeps them around.
On top of this, she rarely cooks. Her idea of cooking is throwing something in the microwave. Now I fully understand that since she lives by herself, cooking a big meal is not always the best choice, but most of what she eats can be frozen and she has a freezer to put it in (albeit it is full of her favorite frozen food...cheap frozen dinners). Is it any wonder I eat out a fair amount of the time I am in?
Most of the time when a person visits, the host will make sure the guest has things they like. Mom rarely does that. Now, when dad was alive, my trips in were great. Food was plentiful and in great variety. Now that he has passed on, mom fends for herself.
The general theme with my mom is cheap. Not frugal, not thrifty, but cheap. She used to buy these large cans of grapefruit juice (off-brand of course) to keep for breakfast. While not the best stuff in the world, at least it was juice. When I visited her the last time, I asked if she had any juice and she told me, "I stopped buying juice. Do you know they went up on price 17 cents? That is just ridiculous!" Mom has stopped eating and drinking her favorite foods just because they increased in price a few cents.
Knowing mom is tight with her money, I try to help her out. I buy our meals when we go out, even though my wife and I are on a tight budget. I want to do this if she would just get out of the house.
I have to give her credit though. When I came in this last time, she had all the staples and she even went out to eat twice with me. Now both times were fast food, but it is a start. At least one of those meals was good (T&L Hot Dogs...yummy. The other was LJS...greasy).
This little battle goes on each time I visit and progressively gets worse until the day I pack up and head back home. My wish is that she has some of my favorite WV comfort food (Pepperoni Rolls, WV hot dogs, Giovanni steak sandwiches) handy when I come in but each and every year (with a few exceptions) she just goes on with her life as usual.
Back when dad was alive and my wife and I were living in NC, mom and dad came down to NC from WV to NC to visit us and see the house we bought. It was not much to look at...1850 sq ft brick home (the only brick home in the neighborhood) that was nearly a perfect cube...I called it the Borg home. I only had a small front stoop up front (no roof) and a large concrete patio in back (again, no roof). It was not well designed but it had charm. Anyway, mom and dad came down one Thanksgiving shortly after we bought the house. My wife and I did everything we could to make mom and dad comfortable. We made sure they had coffee to drink (we were not big coffee drinkers at that time) and any food they needed we had on hand. Dad was not a turkey person so my wife and I made sure he had his favorite meat, ham to eat. We bought a small Smithfield ham and fixed it for him and made sure he took the leftovers home. He was thrilled.
Mom doesn't do that. The only reason she had things this time was because my sister made her buy them. Mom almost refused stating that, "He brings his own food in to eat". My sister just laughed because the only things I ever bring are yogurt and cereal bars...stuff I can eat on the road during my two day drive. I just bring enough to last me the week while I am in since mom doesn't keep cereal around.
When my last full day visiting arrives, mom and I both feel it. She does not want to let go of her oldest son who lives 1200 miles away and I hate leaving her, despite all her quirks. However, we both know I need to go. When dad was alive, every year he would try to get me to stay "just one more day" but staying one more day meant driving all day and night to get back home and we all know that is dangerous.
The day I leave to go back to Texas, I am usually up before mom, packing the van and making sure I don't leave anything I need behind. Now that I travel with a small army of electronics, this step is critical. More than once I have left shoes, clothes, hats, or books that mom had to mail back to me.
The trip back is the same as the trip to WV, albeit with one small change. The past two years my friends Block has invited me to spend the night at his and his sister's house instead of the campground. They live in Memphis and this adds about two hours to my trip but the offer of a dry place to sleep is too good to pass up. Block is a good friend who has stuck by me since high school.
Upon arriving back to Texas, I am tired but happy to be home. I kiss my wife, pet the dog, unload the van and begin to tell stories of my trip. My wife says I went on vacation, but I know that what I have been through is not a vacation. It is work and the enjoyment during that 9 days (four days of driving - two up and two back) is minimal. I eat food that I do not like, sleep in a home that is not comfortable (dust, mold, etc), and drive for 10 hours a day for four days. Yes, the visiting with friends and the geocaching is great, but far from a vacation. Vacation comes when my wife, my dog and I go to Florida. That is a vacation.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Not Quite Living Up To The Blog Name
"Always A Dull Moment" is not how I really describe my life, but I thought it was really cool title for a blog. Cool because I don't normally have exciting things happen in my life. Well during my last trip to WV to visit family and friends (and to geocache!) that all changed.
It started with a story I heard on the local news about a new lead on a cold murder case. My home town, while small has more than its fair share of murders and any lead on a cold case would really put minds at ease. I heard this story either Sunday night or Monday morning before my geocaching buddies picked me up for our long day of geocaching at Mingo Park in PA. On the way back, one of the geocaching crew received a phone call and while I was not paying attention to it, I did notice he spent a lot more time on the call than he normally would. He told me it had to do with cold case but that was all he was able to say at that time.
The next morning, I received a call from my friend telling me to stay tuned to the local TV station for a press conference. He gave me the gist of the story but no details. I missed the press conference but was able to catch the 6 PM news and got the shock of my life. A man whom I knew from my teenage years had been implicated in severak arsons and murders. They were linking the murders, calling the man a "serial" killer.
At first I was not sure it was the same person. No photo was used at the time and no other info other than DOB was offered. It sure sounded like the guy I knew, but I was not sure. Not sure, that is until they mentioned the location where they were looking for more bodies. The name of the road was the same as the e-mail address of someone I knew...the killer's brother. Well that was enough evidence for me.
Still reeling from this news I checked my Facebook page and noticed a couple of posts from friends and family of the killer. I wanted to say something but what do you say in a situation like this?
From the best that I can tell, the series of events is as follows:
Jimbo (the killer) recorded an audio cassette and delivered it to the local police station. On the cassette, he confessed to taking part in four arsons and five murders. To prove he was telling the truth, he gave the location of two of the bodies. When police heard the tape, they tracked him to a nearby motel (one that I had stayed in once in my wild days) under an assumed name. Before police could storm the motel room, Jimbo killed himself with a single gunshot to the head.
Since the suspect killed himself, getting to the bottom of the murders is going to be difficult. They have released very little info at this point but what has been made public is that two of the five bodies have been recovered and both have been women. No motive has been released at this time.
Here is a link to the story. If you care to follow up on this, just use your favorite search engine and search for the words "James Childers Murder West Virginia" and you will get a boatload of hits. Take your pick.
To the family and friends of James "Jimbo" Childers, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
For the record, I was pretty good friends with a couple of Jimbo's siblings...one boy and one girl. I only met Jimbo a couple of times.
It started with a story I heard on the local news about a new lead on a cold murder case. My home town, while small has more than its fair share of murders and any lead on a cold case would really put minds at ease. I heard this story either Sunday night or Monday morning before my geocaching buddies picked me up for our long day of geocaching at Mingo Park in PA. On the way back, one of the geocaching crew received a phone call and while I was not paying attention to it, I did notice he spent a lot more time on the call than he normally would. He told me it had to do with cold case but that was all he was able to say at that time.
The next morning, I received a call from my friend telling me to stay tuned to the local TV station for a press conference. He gave me the gist of the story but no details. I missed the press conference but was able to catch the 6 PM news and got the shock of my life. A man whom I knew from my teenage years had been implicated in severak arsons and murders. They were linking the murders, calling the man a "serial" killer.
At first I was not sure it was the same person. No photo was used at the time and no other info other than DOB was offered. It sure sounded like the guy I knew, but I was not sure. Not sure, that is until they mentioned the location where they were looking for more bodies. The name of the road was the same as the e-mail address of someone I knew...the killer's brother. Well that was enough evidence for me.
Still reeling from this news I checked my Facebook page and noticed a couple of posts from friends and family of the killer. I wanted to say something but what do you say in a situation like this?
From the best that I can tell, the series of events is as follows:
Jimbo (the killer) recorded an audio cassette and delivered it to the local police station. On the cassette, he confessed to taking part in four arsons and five murders. To prove he was telling the truth, he gave the location of two of the bodies. When police heard the tape, they tracked him to a nearby motel (one that I had stayed in once in my wild days) under an assumed name. Before police could storm the motel room, Jimbo killed himself with a single gunshot to the head.
Since the suspect killed himself, getting to the bottom of the murders is going to be difficult. They have released very little info at this point but what has been made public is that two of the five bodies have been recovered and both have been women. No motive has been released at this time.
Here is a link to the story. If you care to follow up on this, just use your favorite search engine and search for the words "James Childers Murder West Virginia" and you will get a boatload of hits. Take your pick.
To the family and friends of James "Jimbo" Childers, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
For the record, I was pretty good friends with a couple of Jimbo's siblings...one boy and one girl. I only met Jimbo a couple of times.
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