Big 'Ol Update

I am going to do one big post rather than several. Sorry if this is tougher on anyone who happens to read this, but it is my blog, 'k? :-)

First, I skipped my normal Tuesday evening volleyball game to go listen to Bishop EC Okoye from Nigeria give a lesson on prayer and fasting. It was very informative and it even got me to try it. Thursday evening, I skipped dinner and had a snack at about 9:30 PM. I went to bed that night knowing in my heart I needed to fast (my wife and I are struggling to figure out how to live on 1.2 incomes. Yes 1.2 . My wife has a part time job a few hours a week that we use as grocery money) to get some divine insight on our finances.

Before I went to bed, I grabbed my bible and headed out to the patio (it was late, 10-ish) to read and pray. After about 20-30 minutes I came in and started working on my Linux server (learning something like Linux is hard when you are old...) until about 1 AM Friday. I got up at 7-ish on Friday (not sure why since I was off that day) , walked the dogs and went out to help my wife trim the neighbors hedges and put down mulch (We only charged her for material, we donated the labor as a gift). We were done by noon or so. I had not had breakfast, coffee, or lunch at this point, only 40 ounces of water. When fasting, it is suggested that you limit your physical activity. I helped with some housework (laundry, vacuuming, changing the bedding, etc) and took 3-4 mini naps all day long. My body really zonks out if I do not eat every 6 hours or so, and this was the longest I had ever gone without food.

Before I took the dogs on their evening walk, my wife had begun preparing a late dinner of Mexican Chicken and Rice, one of my favorites. She did not know I was fasting (you are not supposed to announce to the world you are doing it. You can tell people AFTERWARDS, but is is not much of a sacrifice if you let people know. Anyoooo, after my wife started, she said she was given some divine insight that I was fasting and asked me, so I told her. It had been about 22 hours or so and I only had a couple more to go. I was hungry and weak. I had walked about 4 miles that day, worked out in the neighbor's yard, taken some junk to the dump, and a fair amount of house work. By 9:00 PM, I was ready for bed. I woke up at 11:00 PM a little hungry and since my fast was over, I allowed myself a small bowl of Mexican rice, a diet soda, and some yogurt. It is best to ease into fasting and ease out, which I did. I also prayed about 5 times during my fast as well as hit the bible (mostly Psalms) the same amount.

When I woke up, I was not overly hungry, but I allowed myself coffee and two small muffins. I walked about 2 miles or so and had a long talk with my wife about finances again, We are thinking about dropping cable, except for broadband to save money. We have not had the TV on in about a month or so and we have not missed it.

Next on my update is about my son. We received another letter from him Thursday and he was VERY upbeat and positive. He still misses everyone, but his resolve has grown stronger. He has taken it upon himself to become a bit of an Evangelist, speaking to about 20 of his platoon about Christ. He was able to witness to one young soldier and the soldier gave himself to Christ that following Sunday. I am so proud of him. I send him pictures of people he knows every now and then and I think he appreciates it.

He mentioned wanting to write to his friend Jory, who is also at BT right now. Jory's step-dad and his mother used to attend our church, but they have since moved on. I hope Lane responds to my e-mail requesting Jory's military mailing address.

I have been getting some updates from the newest addition to my spiritual family, "An-Anonymous-Angel". Although she is only 17, she is very wise for her years. Anyhooo, AAA has been kind enough to send me (and others as well) updates from her vacation. She is very involved in the German culture with dance and language and I am guessing other areas as well. I love getting updates and reading her Blog. She is a primary reason I continue to blog today. I was almost ready to close my blogger account when I got an anonymous e-mail from her encouraging me to continue. I was floored. Here I was a 40 year old "re-born again" (this is not a misprint, I gave my life to God 10 years ago, but I never FULLY gave it to him until 2004) who was being encouraged by someone, who I thought from reading her mail, a 20 something child of God. Me, an infant in the spiritual sense, being edified and a minor inspiration to someone, YOUNGER than me in age but much older in the spiritual sense. Wow.

Sorry to drone on about that, but AAA has given me an uplifted spirit and it is hard to contain at times. I hope she excels in quest of music. She has a heart of gold. She is exactly the type of gal I would want my son to marry (and respect).

I wanted to add one thing about the bombings in London. It pains me to know that terrorists are targeting civilians like this. This last attack was a well thought out and coordinated plan. Did you know that each of the 4 bombs used less than 10 lbs of explosives? The three subway bombs went of within 50 seconds of each other.

My heart and prayers go out to citizens of the UK. You have been relatively terror free for several years (the IRA has been a bit quiet, thankfully) and you now are facing the same threat we are. God Bless You and Protect You.

Sometimes, You Just Cannot Win

I am a regular on a web board that caters to geeks and the I/T crowd. We post about a range of subjects, sometimes the posts are not very friendly and some heated discussions can occur. The moderators usually step in and keep order. They do a rather good job.

Lately I noticed that one of the regular posters, "Flute" appears to be having a bad week. All of her posts have a negative tinge to them. I wonder why? She has been a bit down before, especially when she was trying to quit smoking. We all tried to keep he spirits high and we thought we had succeeded. She is not a Christian and uplifting words from those who are were lost on her.

Anyhoooo...I logged on to chat and "Flute" was there, so I asked her why she was so down. She began telling us that people avoid discussing things anymore, they are quick to give in and agree. Now I should have realized I was being baited at this point, but I am a bit slow, so I missed it.

I responded by saying some of us are tired of getting flamed, so we just do not fight over things. She then gave an example regarding a post made by one of the married women on the board who received a visit from a stranger on July 4th. The stranger eventually came back 3 times during the course of the day. "Sunny" was alone, he hubby was not at home. Now personally this worried me...I was concerned for "Sunny's" safety and so were many of the gang who posted a response.

"Flute" said that we were all just being too paranoid. She said that the posters should not be scaring "Sunny" that way. Most of the people in the room agreed with me, although some did not and that is ok. Anyhooo, "Flute" just kept on picking and picking. In the world of newsgroups, this type of person is called a "troll", not as in a beast, but as one who "trolls" (looks) for ways to cause trouble.

"Flute" kept this up for some time and I lost my cool and told her she was acting like a troll. That started a HUGE argument, with people who are her friends saying I called her a troll, and those who agreed with me saying she was ACTING like a troll. Big difference between acting and being.

The rest of the chat session was filled with one guy who has befriended her making snide remarks at me. I ignored them, not wanting to repeat the error.

The next day, "Flute" had responded with her own snide remark to one of my posts on the web board, causing a moderator to tell her to cool her jets. This only angered her more.

The next day when I was chatting with some of my friends in the same chatroom, I made an innoculous comment that "God has and interesting sense of humor". "Flute" and all her cohorts began bashing and making fun of the Bible, Christianity, and finally, religion in general. I thought that I (with the help of a couple of my online friends) could help smooth things out but the whole discussion turned very negative. "Flute" was being very rude, telling us we needed to go to debate school and that is when it hit me that all she wanted was to verbal fight. She even had someone who I like a lot as a person (at least online) verbally attaching my faith. She knocked prayer, saying that God never listens to her prayers...I wonder why! If I am not pleasing God, I feel my prayers are not being answered as well. Why would God go on answering prayers of non-believers if they will not accept who was giving the blessing?

After a while the scene calmed down and we were back to "normal".

I learned a few things today that I thought I already knew...but I guess I did not.

* Online chat rooms offer the weak a great deal of strength and that strength multiplies when joined by others.
* Be careful what you say and to whom. Some people love to take things out of context.
* You never know who your online friends are ... the can turn on you if you are not careful.
* Do not think you can mix a secular group with Christians and have everything fair. (Most of) The Christians in the room did not come to my aid, nor stand up for their faith. Even one guy who I have been praying for for while when his engagement fell apart. That hurt.

I think I am going to vacate the chat and maybe the message board I have been going to in favor of a more Christian themed one. I find myself wanting to move away from secular things more and more. The non-Christian crowd is beginning to wear on me. I thought at first God wanted me there to be a light, but darn, those folks just do not care about their soul. The are all about the here and now. I really hope that my prayers will bring some of them to Christ, especially "Flute".

Not Just in the United States

Killers walk free outside the US, even in Canada. Canada has a very fair legal system, similar to the US. People can offer/accept plea bargains for lesser sentences. The story linked is sad. A woman who turned states evidence to help convict her husband is just as guilty as he is. He is serving life in prison and she is released in 12 years. There are some serious conditions to her release and she is going to appeal them, but she is out of a horrible place and into the "free" world. While they did not say where she was going to live, they gave her new name, the name she changed to escape the public eye.

I will not go into detail of this case too much. The article does that enough. The fact that girls (one victim was this woman's sister) were raped (by both the husband and the wife) and murdered is horrible to imagine. We expect big sisters to protect us, not harm us. Why would a woman, who is programmed by God to be nurturing, fall under the Enemy's grip and do such horrible things? Was she really under he husband's control? Where was God in all of this? Right where this woman left him, out on the doorstep, knocking, but she did not hear him. If she did hear him, she was not going to let him in.

This brings to mind what should be done with violent offenders. There are many who believe that we should just lock them up and leave them there. Others feel that the convicted person deserves to die for their crimes. I have mixed emotions about what needs to be done. It would be so nice to make the person "vanish" (not kill them, just "wish" them away". I know this is not possible, but I can dream. We do not want the prisons near our homes, in fear that a prison break will put us in harms way. This makes me recall all the sci-fi movies that have whole planets as prisons. Some isolated frozen block of stone, far from civilians, where inmates have to live with no chance of leaving alive. Is it wrong to think this? What about those wrongly convicted? I will admit, it has a few downfalls. I would hate to be convicted falsely and sent to a place that would mean much suffering. I know that in regards to the death penalty, I want the courts to be as sure as they can that the person is guilty before they sentence that person to death.

Can this woman be forgiven? Yes, will it be easy for us to do it? Not likely. We will still see her for a sadistic killer and rapist. Oh do not misunderstand me, she needs to pay for her crimes in the court of mankind, but God will judge her soul.

Letter from our Army Boy

We received a letter from our son who is away at Basic Training at Fort Benning, GA. He is doing much better, becoming accustomed to the rigors of the military. He has repelled down the 60 foot Eagle Tower, received his M-16 variant, his Kevlar, and survived the gas chamber. The chamber was the hardest thing for him so far. He said he made it ok, but it was difficult.

Contrary to what he told us earlier, he is having a graduation in August. We have to drive to GA, which is about 13-15 hours away, since we have dogs. We cannot board them (financial reasons and personal reasons), so flying is out of the question (and it would cost more to fly anyway). It will be the second long trip we have taken in the past 3 months.

His class is having the Beret Ceremony on one day and Graduation the next. I know I will burn a couple of hundred pictures on our digital camera. It is not a high quality (a 1.3 megapixel model from 4 years ago), but it takes good outside pics. I cannot express how proud we are of him. he has done something (actually several things!) that I have never done:

1) He has almost completed BT.
2) Witnessed to a fellow Texas soldier and have him accept Christ as his savior.
3) Held on to his faith when things were going against him.

I am proud of my son. God Bless Him.

Morning Coffee Thoughts

I have been having my morning kaffe on the back patio the past couple of mornings. It has been tolerable outside at 5:30 AM. I usually spend 30 minutes with my coffee in front of Fox News, but since my wife has the living room dismantled for her painting project (which is a long process, but worth it...she does a great job), I have been trying to vary where I have my coffee. Sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes in the office in front of the PC (I could watch the news there, I have a TV Tuner card), and now outside on the patio. The patio is nice because it allows me to meditate on my life, scripture, current events, family, etc.

living in the 'burbs is not ideal for having your morning coffee outside. The homes are just a few meters apart, traffic noises detract from the stillness, as does the yapping of small dogs (big dogs bark, little dogs yap), and there is no real privacy. However, I have found the past 2 mornings at 5:30 are tolerable. No dogs are out at that hour, traffic is minimal, and our 8 foot tall cedar fence provides some degree of solitude.

It was this morning that I began thinking about that fence, the same basic style that 2 of my neighbors have. As a matter of fact, all three fences were erected by the same company. They are very similar in style, height, materials, and workmanship. We paid a bit more of these fences, but they came with a good warranty (3 years) that is valid only if the company sign they placed remains on the fence the entire three years. At first I was a bit put off, seeing as this is free advertisement for the contractor, but I did not let it get to me. On of my neighbors though, did let it bother him and he removed the sign. I asked him about his decision and he told me that he did not like it. When I told him that the warranty stipulates the sign MUST remain in place for the warranty to remain valid, he just said, "Any good lawyer will tear that contract apart". I agreed that any lawyer worth his/her salt could do just that, but was it worth the cost? I told him, "Whatever warranty work needs to be done will certainly cost less than the price of a lawyer. If you take the sign down, need work and have no warranty and you have to hire a lawyer to get the work done, how have you saved any money?"

He did not say anything to me. On my way home last night, as I was pulling into my driveway, I noticed he put the sign back up. I guess he sees my point.

But I digress. Solitude. That is what I crave. Not unlike Jesus, I like to be alone sometimes. Do not get me wrong, spending time with family and friends is great, but I need a certain measure of alone time to get me in the proper frame of mind. My morning coffee is one such time. There are a few times during the week my wife will either get up before or the same time I do. Waking up with her is not as easy as waking alone. My wife is very chipper when she gets up, I am not. I take 30-60 minutes to become "human" where she wakes up fresh as a daisy.

When I lived in WV and in NC, I used to take long walks in the woods every week. It allowed me time to reflect and meditate on things and really allowed me to get a better perspective on my life. In Tejas (the Dallas area), it is rather barren. No heavily wooded areas that I can wander for hours in. I have been known to walk for hours when the weather was hot in NC and WV, but the trees allowed me to remain mostly comfortable. In Tejas, if you do not walk under cover of trees (which there are few), you will roast.

I am not sure what I will do about this dilemma.

I hope you enjoy YOUR coffee.

Heart Breaking

This story has broken my heart. Dear Lord, this man was her step-father. Although the outcome (a pregnancy and birth) are not common, I fear the rape part is. I have heard too many stories from friends who have been or know someone who has been molested/raped as a child.

When a man starts a family, he has an obligation to be human. Animals copulate among the pack, humans do not. We have a higher consciousness that seperates us from the animal kingdom. This man has proven me wrong, not all of us do.

I pray that the little girl and her new baby are filled with your grace God. If she does not know you, then I hope she learns of your great love soon. She has lost her innocence and her childhood to a very sick man who was her father figure.

Flag Burning

Lot's of talk on Christian Radio (100.7 FM in Dallas) about the possibility of an amendment being created to make it a federal crime to burn/desicrate the American Flag. I am very partriotic person, standing up to all sorts of people at work and on the web, defending America the Great. Do you want to hear something interesting, though? I think that the amendment is a BAD idea. Let me tell you why.

As a Christian, I put God above all. If we allow this amendment to pass, then we are saying that God is below the flag. We can desicrate (HEAVEN FORBID!) the Christian faith and MAYBE, you can get hit with a hate crime (although not very likely), but burn a piece of red, white, and blue cloth and go to PRISON for at leat 10 years? No. Where will it stop? If I have a flag decal on my vehicle and it becomes unusable and I decide to scrape it off, are you going to have be thrown in jail?

I think people who feel they need to vent should deal with the community and their disdain for the flag burner (not violence, just boycotting), not the Feds.

Dat's what I think!

Where Did They Come From?

Listening to arguments from various sources regarding the recent SCOTUS (Supreme Court of the United States) decision regarding the posting of The Ten Commandments on Government property got me to thinking. If Constitution is to be honored as the primary legal document of the United States, then we were given certain rights by Our Creator, God. The Constitution explains these to us. The rights are not given by man, just enforced by our government.

Now let's look at this through different eyes, those eyes of our mislead brethren, the liberals. If God did not give us the rights as the Constitution says, but the rights are given to us by the government of the US, then the US has the right to take them away. If that is the case, why are the liberals so upset when a right we have is being perceived as in danger of being taken away? We know as Christians that,"The Lord giveth, and The Lord taketh away". If the Government gives, why can't it take away as well?

Now we know liberals do not want any form of religion anywhere near government, even though we were established as a nation on Judeo-Christian values. Many state government have constitutions that refer very heavily on verbiage about God. If that is the case and the we are to believe the way the liberals are interpreting the Constitution of the US, then all the state Constitution's are UNCONSTITUTIONAL. I am not going to go into great detail, but I want you to think about the US Constitution, the state constitutions, freedom OF religion (not freedom FROM religion), and the liberals of the US (and the world for that matter). Liberals do not think religion has any place in government and that our Constitution spells that out. Those liberals are misinterpreting the document. It states "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..." in regards to religious freedoms. Where do you see that you cannot have the Ten Commandments (which is honored among many religions as "sound doctrine") in a courthouse?

I realize I am not a constitutional lawyer, I am a layman. Judges INTERPRET the law, they do not write it.

"Paul" update

Quick update...I need to get to work!

"Paul" came to work Friday and he was there yesterday (Monday) as well. I chatted with him about being out three days (Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday). In a nutshell, he is denying he took anything other than his Paxil (his legal scripts). While he was at work and under the influence of WHATEVER he was taking he admitted to taking Ice (baaaaaddd stuff). A good friend/colleague of ours asked "Paul" Friday, "Were you high on something Monday?". "Paul" denied being high, but you cannot fool our friend, "Ben".

"Paul" stated he had a boring weekend, just watching movies, not going out or doing anything. I wish he would take the hints I drop his way (about his past, the Bible, God, the Promise Keeper magazines in my office, etc), or get back into walking and talking with me, but he wont.

God, hear my cries. Please send an angel to sit with "Paul", show him the way. I am not getting the job done alone. I beseech you for help. I realize it may take a crisis for him to understand and see the light, if so, so be it. I will be there for him.

Well, off to work, it has been crazy the past couple of days, at work and with finances.

Thou Shall Not Murder

I have always believed that God did not mean "kill", when he gave Moses the 10 commandments. There is a difference in the two. If a man breaks into your home with the intent of killing/raping someone in your home, taking his life is not murder, you have ended his life. You defended yourself. This is murder. The man is evil personified.

Why do people murder? Many feel it is a psychological issue, some feel it is just a bad person. Still others think it is a matter of a person being possessed by demons. I am unsure. I would not want to bet on any one of those, but more of a combination of the three. It is not hard to fathom people who are weak spirited being tempted and convinced by Satan to murder others.

What is frightening is that this man was an active member of his church for many, many years. This only goes to show you the Devil can hide anywhere. I fear he is active in many churches. He takes control of those who are weak and those people begin to erode at the fabric of the church. I have seen adulterers, thieves, liars, and cheats ... Satan is everywhere.

BtW have you noticed how serial killers always look a little bit like someone you know? Mr. Rader is no exception. I am sorry, but this guy looks like a man I used to work for named Jack.

My Testimony

No, this is not my profession of faith, just an update on the Testimony I gave at our church last week.

I got up and started with a bit of humor about how nervous I was and I received a polite, but sincere round of laughter, which helped. I detest speaking in front of large groups. I get very nervous. I bet it is a pride thing, since at that point, I am not in control (but are we ever really in control?) and I feel the whole world can see me as a nervous little boy, not a strong confident man.

My testimony was on the Men's Ministry at our church, and how it has affected me and my family. I kept it at just about 5 minutes, and covered most everything I wanted to cover. I received a much healthier round of applause than I expected. While my voice did not crack much, my hands shook uncontrollably. I felt horrible.

But, I did what God wanted me to do. The real surprising thing that happened was I received a letter (not an e-mail) from one of the older ladies in our church telling me that she thought I did a great job, and to keep giving testimonies and it would become easier each time. She had been in my Start-Up group and plans on joining our Care Group when it officially starts up again. She has such a servant's heart, and a neat last name.

I also received several "Good Job!" comments from many of the congregation. I know they were just being polite, but it DID go better than I had expected.

I do not think I mentioned this before, but I have been baptized in the Methodist Church (The Methodist Sprinkle), and while that is accepted by our church, I get the feeling that God is asking me to make a public show of faith by getting a baptism by immersion in the church's Baptismal Font. I am not sure why, but I believe it is divinely inspired.

I hope I did not offend anyone with the "sprinkle" comment. That was not my intention. I originally was very satisfied with my Baptism, but now I am unsure. I need to talk to our pastor. When in doubt, go to your elders! Good advice to live by, eh?

So have you been Baptized and received the Holy Spirit? How? When?

I would love to know.

Update Before I Leave Work

"Paul" did not come to work today. This is the 3rd day he has missed this week. I do not want to inquire too much, or it may look suspicious...let me tell you why. Yesterday, I took a leap of faith and asked my boss (A Divinity student) what I should do if I suspected that a colleague had a substance abuse problem. He looked at me and I said, "Tim, it is not me, but I will not tell you who until I know what the policy is." We chatted about what I suspected, what I had observed, and what I felt. "I want to do the ethical thing - the right thing", I told him. He agreed and told me since he is new to the policies of the company we work for, he would investigate.

"Paul" has a valid, legal prescription for Paxil and he has taken other anti-depression (Xanex/Zoloft?) drugs in addition to the illegal street drugs he takes for recreation. I have been told that he has a close friend, who is studying to be a pharmacist, is dealing to him. He goes to Raves, clubbing, and if truth be known, I think their is a darker sin he is hiding. I will not mention it but I have wondered about it for some time. He needs away from those people. He needs a change of venue.

My wife is trying to put together brochure for her boss. She brought home some photos and asked me to scan them for her, which I did. She is trying to insert them into the newly formed brochure, but she is having some difficulties. I told her that I would cut work early (hey, I worked through my lunch!) and come down.

I have been transferring all of our home movies from VHS to digital files, later to be transferred to DVD. I am having difficulties editing the raw footage. I have never been very good at media editing, I am more of a hardware/software config guy, not an A/V technician. I have all the tools, I just need to figure out how to do it. I can build PC's load Linux or Windows, create networks, set up motion activated cameras and have the pictures on a web site and make web pages but I cannot cut up my raw video data and merge it into a usable format.

I am such a geek.

Sadness Hits Like a Stone

My wife went to say goodbye to one of her friends last night. Ruth had been my wife's friend for less than a year, but my wife cared for her very much. They met at the dog park, each walking her own dog. My wife was led by the Spirit to talk to Ruth and she is glad that she listened. Ruth needed a friend.

Ruth's dog, Honey, was a Golden Retriever who was in pain. She was old and had medical issues. No amount of surgery was going to help her, and the poor dog's days were numbered. Ruth had done everything she could to keep Honey going, but it was a losing battle. Enter my wife, the assistant to Saint Assissi (that is what we call her), the patron saint of animals. She offers words of advice to Ruth and the two become friends.

Timing is not something that God wants us to understand about him. Honey was in her golden years and in pain. Ruth wanted her to live on, but knew that it was wrong to let an animal suffer. Ruth was also almost out of Seminary(why do Divinity students have it so hard with faith?) , getting ready to take a couple of mission trips and then move back to NY state within 6 months. My wife would be there for her (well, Ruth and Honey) and then both Ruth and Honey would leave my wife. No, Ruth did not die but she did make the decision to put Honey down and the vet (who is not a Christian, but is very moral) said it was the right thing to do. God was allowing Ruth to make a hard choice, and my wife was part of that equation.

I am positive that God put my wife into Ruth's life for a reason. Ruth had a lot of issues that my wife was perfectly suited to help with. The problem with Honey, Ruth's questioning her faith and her attitude of not sharing (which was completely reversed by God!) were the biggest. My wife got Ruth to assist the church in moving a family that is a bit less fortunate that Ruth is (she is used to the finer things in life most of the time. Her townhome cost more than our house), helped her through Honey's eutheniasia, and helped Ruth distribute almost all her possesions to those who could use them when she decided to move back to NY. Ruth was kind to me through my wife, by giving her 2 huge Italian book cases for my office.

Ruth told my wife that her mission trips were tough. She saw so much poverty, she cried. The same thing happened when my wife went to Matamoros, Mexico. That is one poor city. My wife cried for hours after she returned.

Ruth leaves (for good) to NY state today. She met with my wife and our Golden-Boxer mix, Maggie Mae for a few hours last night. Ruth gave my wife a 1 lb bag of Guatamalan coffee (from her last mission trip) and the two talked and said their goodbyes. My wife came home upset. She does not handle goodbyes very well, especially extended ones. She is going to miss Ruth.

My wife does not have a lot of close friends, but the few she has had tend to move away to other states, so my wife cannot see them as much as she likes. Yes, there is e-mail and phone, but for my wife that is just not the same. Her closest friends have moved to Minnesota, Indiana, and Alabama.

My wife loves her friends almost as much as she loves Jesus. When those friends are not close to her physically, she hurts. You should have seen how upset she was when I told her we were moving from NC to TX 4 years ago. If looks could kill... :-)

I know my wife will manage, but she clearly is hurting now. I hope she remembers that Jesus is the best friend she ever will have, and he never leaves.

Not Sure what to Do.

It has been a while since I have posted. I was going to post Monday, but an issue at work was on my mind and I could not shake it. The same issue held my thoughts most of Tuesday as well as last night. Today, new information about Monday's issue has really given me more to think of.

I have a colleague who I will call "Paul". Paul is 30 something, single, has a roommate and has, what is in my opinion, a chemical dependency -- a drug addiction. He has taken Ice and Ecstasy in the past and I think I have heard him talking about Crystal Meth. If you search for these drugs and read the effects they have on you, you will see why I am so worried.

I came to work on Monday, my first day back from my 2 week vacation and asked "Paul" how the past 2 weeks were. He immediately started rambling on in incoherent sentences, starting several conversation threads and not completing any of them. He looked very tired, but wired as well. I know that seems impossible, but if you could have seen him, you would understand. He had explained to me that he had been up for over 48 hours and was taking some medication on top of the illegal drugs he had taken the previous 2 days. I told him he was foolish, tried to get him to go home, told him he needs to stop this or it will kill him, etc. He told me that he knows he should not take the illegal drugs, but he does not do it "all that much". He missed yesterday and today. I do not know if it is related or not, but I believe it is.

"Paul" was raised on Christian values, although he did not go to church much. He has read the bible as a child, but is very agnostic today. I have been praying for him for months. He really is a good guy. He has a servants heart, but he does not realize it. He has loaned money to people freely, sold some of his used electronics to friends for very good prices (which he did use to buy newer electronics), has given me an old PC as well as some PC equipment, etc. I have talked to him about my relationship with God, hoping that seeds would be planted and he would see the light.

He has told me a few times in the past that he is going to quit, that he does not need to use the drugs, but he keeps going back. I assume that is one clear sign he is an addict. He also has shown up for work high and missed work because of drugs/alcohol in the past. 2 more very good signs of addiction.

What should I do? Tell him to get help or I will get it for him, risking my job and my good name? Contact HR? Talk to my boss or "Paul's" boss? Keep praying? I know know that God wishes for all of us to walk with him. I have prayed and I get the impression that God wants me to have one last talk with him. I wish "Paul" was here today. I really want to talk to him. Maybe I can see if he is online and talk to him.

What to do...

Back from Vacation

I am finally back from vacation, and settling into my normal routine. I was blessed while I was gone by getting a letter from my son (he is away at Basic Training), and upon my return home, was blessed again with a phone call and another letter. We have written him back and sent a couple of photos. The Army is very strict about what we can send him. Anything that does not meet their strict guidelines is destroyed. Period. If you would like to write him, please e-mail me. I must have all your contact info before I give out his mailing address. Once I get that, I can send on the format that is required for mailing him letters. He really needs people to write to him.

My wife is in the process of painting the living room. I want to give here a lot of credit. I do not like to paint and she has allowed me to do a lot of other things while she paints. I cook, wash dishes, fold laundry, cut the grass, walk the dogs and do other things. This is week number two of my two week vacation. The first week I was visiting my mom, sis, and friends in WV. While my mom and some of my friends there are Christian, my sis and most of my other friends are not. This was a bit painful, since I care for them deeply and I see them struggling with their lives. If they would only give themselves to the Lord they would be so much better off.

The weather was hot and humid. Many of my friends are "financially challenged" and do not have A/C in the entire house, choosing to use window units in their bedrooms to keep cool at night. Mom has A/C and she finally used it. She is a bit old-fashioned and does not like to "waste electricity" on such a luxury as A/C.

The drive up (Friday and Saturday) was good and uneventful. I stopped off at the halfway point of my drive up (and back) to camp at Natchez Trace State Park in Tennessee. It was nice, but a bit humid. No rain that night, although it had rained a few days before and everything was still damp.

When I finally made it home to visit, I spent the rest of Saturday (the day I arrived) and all of Sunday with Mom, Sis, and her kids. We went to her small church on Sunday. We went early to visit with her friends there, and after a good sermon, came home to eat. Since mom had forgotten to take anything out of the freezer, we did not eat until 2 PM, way past my normal lunch time. I managed to survive.

Monday, Mom had a storage building delivered and we chatted off and on all day. Tuesday, I loaded up her shed with her lawn tools and installed a tool rack for her. I put in her mower, lawn cart, chainsaw, trimmers, and the rest of the tools and we still had plenty of room left for her to fill up. I am sure she will.

I spent each day with mom and my nephews, helping out where I could. I walked the mall a few times with one of my friends, and also walked the park with my sis and by myself. I had errands to run and My friend Keith chauffeured me around, He has a big heart. His car does not have A/C so he was constantly buying me ice cream and Gatorade to rehydrate me.

My evenings were spent with my other two friends, Rob and Brenda. Both are recent additions to Christ's Kingdom and are growing in faith at a rapid pace. Both are very active in their church which is down the street from Mom's house. They are very giving people. I have known them for about 15 years or so, right after I divorced my first wife. They always insist I come by every night to visit with them when I come to town.

I visited my Dad's and Grandma and Grandpa's grave. I did not get out to the other cemetery to see my other Grandparents graves. I should have and I feel bad about not doing so. Hard to believe that Dad and Grandma have been gone 3 years.

Keith and I had lunch at Ryan's on Thursday, since I was leaving early on Friday. I wanted to have breakfast with him on Friday, but I needed to get back on the road. I can only drive about 8-10 hours before I need to stop for the day and it is a 18-19 hour drive. The first day of my drive back was uneventful, but the following day was marred with rain and bad traffic. I still made pretty good time. Including my pit stops for gas, toilet, and food, It took only about 20 hours total. Not bad.

I was glad to get home and so was my wife. She was a bit stressed not having me or my son to help her with the myriad of things she does on a daily basis. I would have to agree with her that I did not realize how helpful it is to have our son around. He does a lot. I miss him. A lot.

Reflecting back on my trip, I am glad I do not normally make it more than once a year. It is a hard trip to take and is very bittersweet. I love my family and friends, but to see the way they live is heartbreaking. My mom is a packrat, keeping broken, rusted and rotten items in her basement. She has cleared out a lot of it, but she still has a way to go. I think my dad was the reason. He was raised during the Depression and people saved everything, not knowing if they would need it in hard times. Mom had a habit of saving wire bread ties, plastic butter and ice cream buckets, bread bags, popsicle sticks and a lot more. We have finally gotten her to recycle what she could.

Enough rambling...I should have regular posts in the next few days or so. Not much free time. I am supposed to give a testimony at church on Sunday...pray for me...I do not like speaking to large groups.

Another Milestone

Last night, I finished the last chapter in my "1 to 1 Discipling" class. It is normally a 10 week class, but my mentor and I have pretty full schedules. It was difficult to meet every week, so it took longer than expected.

My mentor, Fred is a wonderful Christian man, who was raised in a Christian home. Upon our first meeting, we shared how we came to know Christ. He was surprised to learn of my past errors and seemed very surprised to see where I was in my Christian walk considering the short amount of time I have been a Christian. We were about as opposite as we could be when were were young, although our paths are much more aligned now.

Fred and his wife invited my wife and I over to their home for dinner before Fred and I began our last lesson. Fred and his wife had a chance to get to know my wife a bit better and we all shared some good conversation.

The meal was excellent and I but I was itchin' to get started on my final lesson, which was on obedience. It was a short chapter, but it had a lot of scripture to reference and questions to answer. It took a while to go over each question, but after we finished, he congratulated me and gave me a mentoring guide and asked me if I would consider mentoring someone. I was a bit surprised, but I told him I would be honored. I am no scholar in biblical matters, but I know the one simple truth that guides me: Jesus Christ Died For Me.

Fred was kind and said I made a great student, which made me a bit embarrassed. I am only the second student he has graduated in the past few years. He has 3 or 4 other students, but they are not very far along. I know their schedules are conflicting.

I think this was a great way to begin my vacation, which begins tomorrow. I will not be able to post as much as I like, but I am going to try.

Soldier Boy

Last night was the last time my wife and I will see our son for about 11 weeks. We dropped him off at a hotel near DFW so he could ship out with several other recruits to Fort Benning, GA for basic training. My son joined the Army National Guard of Texas a few months ago and has been working very hard at improving himself. He has taken online testing, scored well on his test, referred 2 friends, and completed a ton of PT. He is going in at an PFC/E3, two grades above most of the people he joined up with. He is a smart kid, he will go far. I guess that is what hurts me some. He does not do well in school, even though he has been tagged as gifted. He does not like school, but instead is a very physical person. He has great aptitude for music and all things mechanical. He has not taken the love of I/T like I have, but he is very sharp nonetheless. He picks up on technology like a duck to water.

He will return in August to start his senior year in high school. After he completes that, he will go to AIT next summer. He will then qualify for another promotion. He is very gung ho for the Army National Guard right now. He wants to become a peace keeper and travel. Like us, he has a strong relationship with Jesus Christ. He was hurt to know he could not take a Bible to BT, but was relieved to know they were going to issue him one when he got there. He also took his Crucifix, the one he normally carried in his wallet. We said a prayer for him in a quiet corner of the hotel before we left. We were sad, but we knew we had to move on. We had forgotten how hungry we were until we passes a busy little bbq joint. The smell of hickory beckoned us, so we had some ribs, brisket, and sausage. We then continued home to go walk our two dogs. It gave me more time to reflect and pray. I needed that.

Sad Day

I am a firm believer in the right to bear arms, as stated in the US Constitution. I hold no ill will to anyone who wishes to practice that right, as long as they are responsible. If guns are not controlled properly, horrible things can happen.

I understand no charges are going to be filled. Now I do not think murder charges should be filed, but the parent failed to keep a child safe. At the very least they should get a child endangerment charge. Maybe no time, but at least a conviction.

I have had people argue, "They have suffered enough...they lost a child." Yes, they have suffered and lost. But they are the reason they have suffered and lost. If a neighbot would have been the trigger person, do you think the parents would press charges? Of course they would.

Also, why did the child have on camoulage pants? If I had small children anywhere near guns, I would want them wearing bright orange, so I could see them easier.

No Michael Jackson Penis Pics

Thank the Lord for that one. I have not been following this trial because I personally think that MJ is a strange bird, but this article jumped out at me. Using descriptions of genitalia and photos are a bit much for me, and I am glad that the jury will not have to see them. While I understand the prosecution's reasoning, I find it very tacky. Read the entire story.

So how far should we go to try a person for a crime? Forget WHO is on trial. Concentrate on what they are doing. If you were accused, would you want your genitalia (whether you are male of female) photographed and the have those photos shown to 12 strangers who will be sitting in front of you for months?

Whether or not I think MJ is guilty is not the point. He is a peculiar person to say the least. His lifestyle augments his personality and his finances enables his lifestyle. He has had a troubled past, tried to find solace in Islam and keeps strange company. Does this make him guilty? No, it only makes him media fodder.

All I can do is pray that justice is done (either innocent or guilty) and that MJ accepts Christ someday.

Bad Day

Yesterday was a bad day for my wife. She had a full plate of activities and she began her day running errands, getting ready to prepare a meal for a member of our church who is recovering from GI (Gastro-Intestinal) surgery. A vicious storm had blown in, with strong winds that sent debris everywhere. Trash cans, litter, toys, even several trampolines had blown out of yards (and in one case, on a neighbors roof). Trees were down in some areas and we even had a lightning strike at our church, hitting a tree in the preschool playground. Things were a mess.

As my wife turned into the alley that runs behind our house, she noticed that the alley was littered with garbage cans and recycle bins (among other things) that kept her from driving on. She thought about just parking in the street out in front of our house, but the thought of hail damaging our second vehicle made her cringe (the van is only 2 years old, my truck was hit HARD last year with hail. It is 6 years old), so she got out of her van and moved as much debris as she could to get the van through. She sat the cans upright (what little good that would do with all the wind) and pushed the bins out of the way. She did this the entire 300 feet or so of the alley until she was able to get into our garage.

As she was pulling in she noticed a beagle running loose in the storm. It was soaked and scared and ran right towards her (My wife is a true animal lover. I think she will be Saint Assisi's helper when she gets to heaven), practically begging for her help. She left brought the dog into the garage, and check the caller. She called the owner's number, but they were not home. There was no address. The dog had registration tags (thankfully) so she called the county and was told to take it to the local approved vet so the owner could be contacted. So she put the beagle in our dog's carrier and loaded it up into her van and set out to help the animal. When she got home, she noticed the power was out and she had just a few hours before she was to deliver dinner to our recuperating friend. Without electricity and pouring the rain down, dinner was on hold.

When I got home from work and then the eye doctor (to pick up my new specs) she was frazzled. She told me the story and I held her, telling her it was going to be OK. She then told me that our son had not returned something to school and she had to run over to the school during the height of all this madness to take it back. She was also upset because our son told us (he did not ask) that he was going to the National Guard Armory to get some things done (He has enlisted in the Texas Army National Guard and has been studying online to go up in rank before he attends basic training Monday). There were clothes in the dryer, a huge pile of dishes that needed washed, the dogs needed fed and my wife still needed to get a ready so we could go to our church Care Group meeting in about 75 minutes. What a day.

She started crying, saying she did not want to go to Care Group. I asked why and she told me. Her day was a shambles and did not fell like going. I asked her to go. She said no. I asked her again, she said no. Then I said, "You are going, and that is final. You 'bad day' is over and we need to get spiritually right with God. The devil is tempting you with a quiet evening, but what you do nor realize is that we will really have a great time if we both go. I want you to go with me."

She went, we had a good meal, great fellowship, and a great time. Any do you know what else? She may have had a rotten day, but you could never tell it. She enjoyed herself.